A negative comment about a party at Arisia

[xiphias]

Far as I'm concerned, you can EITHER have an invite-only party OR you can advertise your party.

But it's FUCKING RUDE to advertise your invite-only party.

Don't mind invite-only parties. Don't even mind invite-only parties who, apparently, were going around handing out invites only to women who were dressed slutty. Heck, if someone took that to the extreme, and walked around the con handing out slips of paper which said, "You're sexy. Come to my room at 11 pm," that wouldn't bother me. And if he or she got people to show up, more power to him or her.

DO mind people who do that and also put posters up in the stairwells advertising their party. It's fucking RUDE to do that, then set up a velvet rope outside, and do the "club" thing. Dunno about you, but I go to cons to get away from that kind of dynamic.

Yes, I'm pissed off at not being pretty enough to get into that party.

Comments

[zarhooie.livejournal.com]

HA. Last year, I got no less than three invites to the church of skank party. THREE. Keep in mind, I was wearing leather corset, a button down top and a skirt... and not much else!

I do agree with you though. Next time (aka next year) find me and I'll take you as my date. :)

[voltbang.livejournal.com]

I missed the fliers. I followed the bright lights and the booming music.

[querldox.livejournal.com]

I dunno. I was considering making it out to Arisia this year and doing a party to celebrate 25 years since my first con (which was Boskone, but I figure Arisia + Boskone these days = approximately an early 80s Boskone). Had I done so, particularly if it'd been Friday night, I would've strongly considered advertising it as a private party for people who know me, with the advertising to make sure such knew about it in case I'd not run into such a person.

But I think that's a bit different than a mundane "club"/"Hot or Not" bit.

[brooksmoses]

They had an actual velvet rope?

I'm sorry, but ... bwah-hah-ha-hah-BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

That's just so special, right there.

[ron_newman]

whose party was this?

[agharta75.livejournal.com]

I guess only the "losers" went to the open parties.

[gilana]

I can certainly understand why you'd be upset by that, but from what I could tell, it's more of a dress code than a hotness check or invite thing. One of the guys I was with was wearing a sweater and pants. He would have been permitted in on his own had he been willing to take of his shirt, but since he wasn't, he had to be escorted by someone dressed more skankily. I bet if you threw on a leather vest or something they would be delighted to have you.

[ailbhe]

Yeuch. Sounds like the kind of thing I'm glad I wasn't around for, because I'd be right over in the "sulking and feeling hurt" corner with you.

I can think of worse people to sulk with, mind you. It might have been fun.

[redbird]

Ditto (re going to cons in part to get away from that sort of crap).

For that matter, I suspect I'd mind less if someone advertised a party with posters saying something like "you must be wearing a short skirt or kilt" and applied it to everyone, regardless of gender. I still wouldn't get in (I don't own any short skirts, and probably wouldn't take a pair of shorts to Arisia, given the time of year), but it wouldn't feel quite as much like yet another example of het guys making rules to give them lots of conventionally pretty female skin to look at, while not providing eye candy for people who'd rather look at men, or making the men meet any requirements.

Hmmm. "Short skirts or evidence of having showered within the last hour", anyone? (I have a hunch that the guys who organized that party would have trouble getting into a similar party in the outside world.)

[temima.livejournal.com]

*laugh* I only arrived just when they were going to sleep, so I didn't get any crap. I was confused when I didn't see a room number--I mean, they are advertising, right?

[fibro-witch.livejournal.com]

Since the party hosts are hopefully still reading, perhaps you could talk to events about moving the party to an event area. I wish one of you had attended the gripe session.

I also was turned away, not sure why, and someone I know who was not dressed up, (well was in a tankish top and pants) was given a private invite.

Not having a private party wing did hurt a bit. But yes, you have a choice if you have advertising, your expected to be open. Lesson learned.

[marmota.livejournal.com]

*shrug* Closed parties at open events are a bad mix in general, let alone specific, but even fandom has it as a long tradition of sorts.

Only real issue I see here is having "skank" in the party title, which last time I checked was a rather insulting term... seems to me it would be more of a diss to be let in than kept out anyway. I'm surprised noone got assaulted for calling someone one by handing them an invite.

[nibbledbyducks.livejournal.com]

I appreciated the work that went into creating the party space. Thanks for the efforts. I also enjoyed watching the DJ, she really seemed to be enjoying herself, which was appealing.

[laurion]

Agreed. I'd crashed for a few hours, and when I woke back up around 12:30 tried to go find my friends. One reliable source told me that they were last seen inside said party, but I was turned away and unable to get a hold of them.

[water-childe.livejournal.com]

I was offered an invite, but turned it down a) because I already had a party I was more then committed to attend and b) Pardon me for getting my feminist hackles raised, but I take offense at the word 'skank'. It's a personal thing I suppose. Skimpy sexy clothes do not a 'skank' make, at least in my book, and I'm sick and tired of fandom celebrating and acting all happy about women in sexy alluring attire, but having to use negative, disempowering, and even misogynistic language. Make no mistake this is an issue I have with mainstream society as well. I

[fireheart.livejournal.com]

I completely agree. I go to Arisia because it is a place of inclusion where you don't have to worry about schoolyard bullies telling you that you are not cool enough for their party. I was eventually let in (mostly because I sported a staff ribbon -- read into that what you will), but the judgemental attitude of the doorchick was so off putting that I left a couple minutes later.