A negative comment about a party at Arisia

[xiphias]

Far as I'm concerned, you can EITHER have an invite-only party OR you can advertise your party.

But it's FUCKING RUDE to advertise your invite-only party.

Don't mind invite-only parties. Don't even mind invite-only parties who, apparently, were going around handing out invites only to women who were dressed slutty. Heck, if someone took that to the extreme, and walked around the con handing out slips of paper which said, "You're sexy. Come to my room at 11 pm," that wouldn't bother me. And if he or she got people to show up, more power to him or her.

DO mind people who do that and also put posters up in the stairwells advertising their party. It's fucking RUDE to do that, then set up a velvet rope outside, and do the "club" thing. Dunno about you, but I go to cons to get away from that kind of dynamic.

Yes, I'm pissed off at not being pretty enough to get into that party.

Comments

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

"Skanks in Space".

Okay, with that name, I feel embarrassed about being upset to not get in.

Apparently, I'm shallow and insecure. But, y'know, whatever.

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

Hey, look, they dissed me too, presumably because I was dressed slinky and shiny instead of skanky. I can't feel too disappointed, overall. Even though at the last Skank party I had a pretty pleasant time.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

How many years have they been doing these parties?

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

I remember at least one previous. That's all I can really assert. :-)

Also, I forgot to add two more thoughts earlier:

(1) I noticed their flyers in the stairwell only *after* I got turned away from their door. (And I only tried their door by accident, looking for a completely different party. Surprised me, velvet rope notwithstanding.) I didn't get as far as thinking "gee, how contradictory," but now I'm with you: it does seem kinda dumb to post flyers without any room number or other actual party information.

OTOH, that very crypticness changes the dynamic. They weren't ads, they were teasers, like PR -- a side order of context for the people who *got* invitations. But it's different from flyering "Come to our party, X time, Y room" and THEN turning away people who don't fit their criteria. (You can still opine that it's rude, I'm just pointing out that it's different.) But it would have been best to add "Invitation Only" to the teaser flyers, IMHO.

(2) For the record, I see gilana's point about the hosts using a (highly subjective) door policy to control for "problem children", in addition to atmosphere. And even if it is rude, I support their right to do it.

ooh!

[happypete.livejournal.com]

I didn't get you on my post-Arisia-post...i'm correcting that now.

it was so nice to see you, even if we only got to chat briefly!!!

One of the Party Hosts

[(Anonymous)]

If you were in costume, you should have got in. I wasn't personally at the door the whole night myself this year like in the past, so perhaps my instructions were not interpreted exactly as I would have done & I'm sorry about that. I can't believe they turned away someone slinky & shiny!

Re: One of the Party Hosts

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

It wasn't so much "in costume", but I was indeed dressed up (black satin halter gown, ankle length). But thanks for clarifying! :-)

My date OTOH was not dressed up. But also, as I said in a later comment, we weren't even *looking* for this party... we had not received an invitation earlier, so that was ACTUALLY why they turned us away at the door (dress code was never discussed), and that struck me as perfectly reasonable grounds on which to deny us admittance. And as it happens, my sweetie would actually not have been comfortable there At All (for totally personal reasons) if we had been admitted, so it all worked out just fine.

Re: One of the Party Hosts

[laurion]

Also true. I was turned away by an otherwise very nice blond woman for not having an invite. Dress code wasn't mentioned.

Re: One of the Party Hosts

[nibbledbyducks.livejournal.com]

Hiya. I got in, with only a costume, and not a very skanky one at that. Thanks for the great party (the music was great!). I hope you won't let this minor scuffle stop you from having parties at future Arisias.

Re: One of the Party Hosts

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Hey, I thought it was a fun party. I didn't get an invite, and I wasn't aware of the dress code... and I'd have said my group's clothing was more "glam" than "skank," but if I'd been turned away, I wouldn't have thrown a snit, either.

The drinks were yummy.

[laurion]

Man am I sad to have missed seeing you Saturday night then....