(no subject)
Jun. 28th, 2006 05:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xiphiasOne advantage in dealing with my depression is that I have is that I've been depressed for a long time.
You may think that that doesn't sound like a very great advantage.
And you'd be right.
But nonetheless, it is an advantage.
Because when I have a day in which I feel like everything sucks, like I feel like I should just give up on everything I'm trying to do because it's all worthless, when I really don't even quite have it in me to get dressed, I know that it's not real. I know that things AREN'T as hopeless as they feel, that I'm NOT as worthless as I feel, and I know that tomorrow will be different.
If I didn't have experience with this, I might think it was real.
As it is, I know that today was a loss. Nothing got done, nothing went forward. But I know that nothing got UNDONE, either. I didn't make progress, but I didn't regress.
And tomorrow will be better.
You may think that that doesn't sound like a very great advantage.
And you'd be right.
But nonetheless, it is an advantage.
Because when I have a day in which I feel like everything sucks, like I feel like I should just give up on everything I'm trying to do because it's all worthless, when I really don't even quite have it in me to get dressed, I know that it's not real. I know that things AREN'T as hopeless as they feel, that I'm NOT as worthless as I feel, and I know that tomorrow will be different.
If I didn't have experience with this, I might think it was real.
As it is, I know that today was a loss. Nothing got done, nothing went forward. But I know that nothing got UNDONE, either. I didn't make progress, but I didn't regress.
And tomorrow will be better.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-28 09:56 pm (UTC)I'm not depressed anymore, but I was for so long, that now I easily recognize it. "Oh, okay, maybe it's not that everyone woke up and decided to hate me today...I'm just...seeing it that way."
I'm really glad you've found a way to use this to your advantage, to provide some internal perspective.