Garrison Keillor and happiness

[xiphias]

A month or two ago, I heard or read SOMETHING, I can't remember where or by who, which pointed out that Garrison Keillor's tagline on his five-minute daily program "Writer's Almanac" was a pretty good summary of how to maintain happiness in life.

At the end of each show, Keillor says, "Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.®" Yes, it's trademarked. It's also psychologically and philosophically profound.

"Be well.” If you’re sick, in pain, in danger, in dire need, you can’t maintain happiness. The first thing we need for happiness is some level of basic health and safety.

“Do good work.” We need to be active in something that is meaningful. If we’re fortunate, the thing that we do to make money may also be a thing that we find meaningful in a larger sense. If not, then we can use the money that we make to support us, and do our meaningful work outside of those hours.

That work could be raising a family, being a good neighbor, working for social justice, working for government, medicine, creating art -- music, books, jewelry, to name three of the forms of art represented on my friends list, building communities, running science fiction conventions or LARPs, inventing and engineering, working for environmental causes -- anything that you feel is meaningful, because it makes the world a better place, creates enjoyment for people, or is just plain worthwhile in and of itself.

“And keep in touch.” We are social animals. Some of us more so than others -- some of us need a lot of people around us at all times, some of us only need human contact in more limited, controlled doses. Some of us need face-to-face personal contact with people, some of us are happy interacting through telephone, or email, or LJ.

But very few of us need no human contact.

Whatever work we do is within the context of a society. And we need to be recognized, and appreciated, and praised for the work we do. There are some people who are okay with knowing that they’ve done good work without external validation. But most of us need to hear it from other people.

So, in general, if you’re finding yourself unhappy, and not sure why, that might be something to consider: which area is weak: “being well”, “doing good work”, or “keeping in touch”?

Comments

[metahacker.livejournal.com]

A nice analysis! That could be a very nice mantra, indeed.

It stands in contrast to Bob & Ray, who ended each show with, "Remember to hang by your thumbs, and write if you get work." Slightly different meaning, there. ;)

[greenlily.livejournal.com]

Red Green ends his North of 40 monologues (routines about being an older guy) with "Remember, I'm pulling for ya. We're all in this together." I've always found that comforting, despite not being an older guy.

(He also ends his shows with "Keep your stick on the ice", which I understand intellectually--it's a hockey regulation--but don't connect with as well. :))

[metahacker.livejournal.com]

I'm very fond of his Men's corner skit.

"Hey -- someone ever caught you just staring at stuff? Not really looking at it, just kind of...staring? And then you have to go and make up some excuse about what you were looking at. Happens to all of us."

[cbpotts.livejournal.com]

This is very nice -- for all the times I've heard GK say that, I never really thought about it. But you parsed it out beautifully.

[sarianna.livejournal.com]

I like this. A lot. Thank you for posting. Things to remember.

[redbird]

The thing, or a thing, is that they connect in several ways. Right now, I am well, I am doing good work, and I am keeping in touch. And part of that last is that I am very worried right now about a friend's health; it's not only our own health and safety that matter to happiness.

[tylik.livejournal.com]

I like that.

And I'm working very hard on the be well bit, though that's pretty clearly the weak point.

[elisem.livejournal.com]

Actually, I disagree pretty strongly with item number one.

"Be well.” If you’re sick, in pain, in danger, in dire need, you can’t maintain happiness.

If I believed that, I might as well walk off a cliff. I live with chronic pain and chronic illness, and have done so most of my life. You've met me in person and seen me on-line a lot; I think I'm usually happy and often very happy.

I think I may have to write a serious rant about this. Because I think the notion that ill health is a bar to a happy life is pernicious and debilitating.

I like you, though. My rant's not gonna be about you. It's gonna be about some unthinking assumptions.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

I should spend some time re-thinking that, then. I'm pretty sure that there's SOMETHING to the "be well", part, but, as you say, it's not exactly what I'm saying.

There IS something to "being well", but, yeah, it's NOT what I said it was. Chronic pain DOESN'T necessarily negate it. So I'll have to think about it and figure out what I SHOULD have said.

[elisem.livejournal.com]

I agree that there is something to "be well." I'm just not sure what it is yet.

[dianavilliers.livejournal.com]

Maybe it could be interpreted as "be as well as you can be".

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

I dunno. That may be closer, but that doesn't seem to hit it, either. Because there are people who are as well as they can be, and yet their wellness keeps them from being happy. And there are other people who, objectively, would seem LESS well, but DO manage to be happiness.

Maybe it has something to do with accepting your state of being? But that doesn't feel right, either, because there are people who are happy who are working like hell to become healthier.

[navrins]

I think it would be safe to say that, regardless of how healthy or unhealthy you are, you'd probably be happier if you were healthier.

It's not that you can't be happy while ill or in pain - just that, however happy you are, you'd almost certainly be more happy if you could reduce whatever illness and pain you have. And ill health has no compensating benefit that might make it worthwhile.

Neither health nor happiness is a binary, but surely there is at least a weak link between them.

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

I look forward to the rant.

[dancing-kiralee.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure whether this thought should be applied to you or Xiphias, but I thought I'd share it...

The "be well" part of the quote is the only one that isn't pro-ative. Instead of being about something you do, it's about something that is "done" to you - for example, if you are in pain it's because someone or something (like a disease) is hurting you; you didn't chose to be in pain (well, except in rare kink cases, and that not really what we are talking about). Even if being in pain is the result of a bad decision (say you got a cold because you stayed outside in the rain) that's still an indirect cause.

I think "be well" affects happiness thusly - one is happy if one has done everything one can to "be well" and finds the results acceptable. Of course, if given the opportunity to do more, you will, but what you've accomplished is enough that it doesn't stand in the way of your happiness.

What is and isn't an acceptable level of pain (or safety or need) is different for different people. I, for example, am not happy because I'm not safe; the problem is chronic, and, at the moment, there is nothing I can do about it.

When I talk about this, and ask people for advice they think I should lower my standards - that I should learn to accept and live with the lack of safety in my life. And I admit my standards are not the same as everyone else's; but I think it is the world that should change and not me.

Once upon a time people didn't recognize that rape was traumatic for the victim; now everyone has learned to respect a women's right to say no. My rights weren't violated in a sexual context, so it wasn't rape; but even though it wasn't rape (and therefore isn't currently recognized as wrong by our culture) just like the people who were raped before it was recognized as traumatic, I deserve a world where what happened to me is recognized as wrong, rather than one in which I have to accept the violation of my rights.

What I'm trying to say is that, if you've acheived enough sucess managing your chronic pain and illness that the result doesn't stand in the way fof your happiness, that's great; good for you. However, if someone else hasn't, they shouldn't be "blamed" for making themselves unhappy by failing to accept what they can't (yet) change.

It's just an idea - I hope it makes sense, and that you find it interesting or useful.

Kiralee

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

*contemplates*

(And yeah, I know. I owe you a couple of replies. :)

[navrins]

That'd be "all of the above" for me.

Thanks for the food for thought.

[dianavilliers.livejournal.com]

I'm muddling along fair to middling on the first two, doing good useful stuff even if I'm not sure that its the right work for me in the long run. Keeping in touch - there's where I fall down. I let people slip away far too easily.

[aquaeri.livejournal.com]

Interesting. This resonates exactly with an article in the local free rag (shock! horror!) or at least I can match three of their points to three of GK's (and possibly the difference in the "be well"-type point is interesting too, given your discussion with elisem:


1. Take things lightly: don't lose your sense of humour in difficult times
2. Take good care: The better you feel the more you will be able to take care of others and to accomplish goals
3. Enjoy the present: Excessively planning/worrying won't do you any good
4. Invest in relationships: Make an effort to meet people and to relate to the people you meet
5. Be true to yourself: Follow your own heart and do what is good for your soul


(The article is about Peter Dielesen, of www.aazaa.com. I haven't looked at the web page, and have no opinion about what he actually does.)