Just called some wildlife removal people to deal with our raccoon situation.

[xiphias]

See, in general, I like raccoons, so it makes me a little happier that the effective methods of getting rid of raccoons do not involve hurting them, normally. Basically, what you need to do is evict them from where they're living in your house and keep them out. But if you hurt them, they end up hiding in the burrow -- which is your house, and your best case scenario is an injured or dead wild animal in your building, which Isn't Good.

So you have to do things like one-way doors, or wait for them to leave for the morning and THEN block it off or something. They end up homeless, but, as it's spring, they find another place to live.

If they've got pups, you have to evict the whole family, because otherwise, they'll come back to rescue their kids, and they're smarter than you are.

As I've been saying, if we could just get the 'coons to pay rent, I'd not have a problem with them. If we could get them to stay in one spot, not dig around, and pay maybe fifty, a hundred bucks a month, depending on how much space they needed, I'd be cool with them. Heck, even if they paid us in fruit or something, it'd be SOMETHING. Maybe the could do yard work. I dunno. But I don't speak raccoon, so I can't make that offer, and, even though they could probably hold a pen, I don't know if they can READ, so I don't think they'd understand the lease.

Our upstairs neighbor says that a raccoon walked past his window, and he put his hand on the glass, and said something to the effect of "Nyah, nyah, there's glass here and you can't get in!"

The raccoon looked at him, and put its paw on the other side of the glass just over where his hand was.

I like raccoons, and maybe they can find a spot in a shed or a tree right nearby and hang out, y'know? I wouldn't have a problem with that. I just don't want them digging in our walls.

Comments

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Now, now. Raccoons aren't rodents. They're procynidae, a caniform suborder of the carnivoria order.

In any case, once you get that big, you just throw your weight around until the can tips over, and you get out that way.

[polydad.livejournal.com]

Taxonomic correction appreciated. Tipping over the can *sometimes* gets the safety lid off, and sometimes not.

best,

Joel. Who hasn't been personally crawling in and out of the cans for a few decades.