Oh, yeah, so about my job at the gas station. . . .

[xiphias]

So, we found out why we were off so much money that first shift I worked. Mainly, it's because the lottery tickets are packed in two chunks: tickets 300-150, and 149-1. So, if you start out at ticket number 150, and you sell 1 ticket, you're at an empty ticket bin. So, going from 150 to blank is 1 ticket, not 150 tickets. That's $745, which was the vast, vast majority of it.

Then there was the $20 scratch ticket that the machine couldn't read, but, because my co-worker was the one who damaged it, we felt we had to cash anyway, and the $10 in gas that someone paid for, but my co-worker put on the wrong pump, so that somebody else pumped that gas, noticed that it was paid for, and left . . . and the $20 that my former co-worker, according to the video camera, took out of the register and put in her pocket while I was in the other part of the store cleaning stuff.

A point of advice for those folks on my friends list who may be too young to have learned this themselves: I think that many young people don't learn this until too late.

If you're going to steal, make sure to steal enough money to cover your lawyers and your escape to another country. Don't steal $20. It's DUMB to steal $20. If you're going to steal, steal $20,000,000. Hey, if you get caught stealing $200, you go to high-security prison and spent 15 or 20 years there. If you're caught stealing $200,000, you get sent to minimum security prison, and spent 2 or 3 years there. If you're caught stealing $200,000,000, you get invited to help make economic policy for your country.

Comments

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

Your former coworker sounds about as bright as the guys who got hold of my credit card number a few years ago, ordered themselves some computer equipment and then, to tide them over while they set it up, ordered a pizza delivered to their house.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

It's not that she's dumb. It's that she's 20, and not a geek. Geeks can develop things like "foresight" and "common sense" and "risk-assessment" at any age, with about equal probability. So some 80-year-old geeks still haven't quite grasped it, while some 8-year old geeks are fine with it.

But non-geeks tend to develop those things around when the prefrontal executive lobes of the brain finish developing, around early-to-mid-twenties or so.

She's not dumb, precisely. She's just. . . actions-faster-than-thinking-can-catch-up-with.

(And the pump thing was really, anybody could have made that mistake. They said "$10 on pump 1", when they were really parked at pump 2, which is the opposite side of pump 1, and there was a big line, so instead of looking out the window to check to see if there really was a car on pump 1, she just took their $10 and put $10 on pump 1. Really, anybody could have made that mistake, and most of us have. . . making the scratch ticket unreadable, though . . . that one took talent.)

Your guys, on the other hand, were just plain DUMB.

[maedbh7.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile, stealing $2000 from the main branch of a bank while you work there will only get you fired. (True story) Meanwhile, the quintessential way to steal just over $2000 is to work a busy shift on front register at a major discount store, go on break carrying your till with you, and simply walk out the front door. You then have about 8 hrs to make it across the border. (Also true story) Oh, and the best way to steal over $500 worth of re-saleable merchandise when you work in retail is to obtain a large, low-dollar boxed item. Write the item off as a damaged return, then fill said box with as much high dollar merchandise as you can fit into the box. Re-seal the box. Pay the price as ticketed. Make some serious bank. (Sadly, also true)

All co-workers, I assure you :) -H...

[angelovernh.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO to the "If you're gonna steal" section. :)

[mswae.livejournal.com]

Found out from Dan's brother that your till can be off by up to $25 for each shift you work before there's trouble. If gas station works the same way as the grocery store he worked at, your co-worker had probably been lifting $20 every day. Did they only check the cameras because you were initially short so much, or do they check them every day?

Not that this negates anything that's been said about stupid people ... just adds further support that you'll probably be making manager soon :)

[laurens10.livejournal.com]

Wow. It's probably good that when you saw things short, you actually wanted to talk to the manager about it. It is proactive, gains their trust in you, and I bet you'd be manager soon too, if ya want.

How to steal a lot of money

[cheshyre]

I just saw this article by Cringely, and thought of this post. Rather than just IMming the URL to you, I thought I'd share it here.