And what's going on in my life
Feb. 22nd, 2011 11:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I feel awkward talking about my life, with what's going on in Christchurch, and what's going on in Libya, and to a lesser but still important extent in Madison, and all of that HUGE stuff. Against all that, the problems of one little person don't amount to a hill of beans. But still. They're MY beans.
So what's been going on? Last Friday, I got a provisional trial "rule-out" diagnosis of ADD. My psychopharm went through the questionnaires with me, and it came out with a strong "Maybe," so he proscribed me anti-ADD meds to see if they do anything useful. If they don't, then I don't have it. If they do, then I have another tool to becoming more functional.
So, my grandfather chose to forgo his last palliative hospital visit to drain the fluid that builds up in his abdomen, or something like that. He decided that it was time to stop care, and is now in his endgame. He's got morphine for the pain, and is therefore sleeping, and all of his children are around. Typically, it's about a day to a week until death at that point, and that all happened yesterday. So he could die any minute, or any time this week.
We went over last night to see him; he was asleep through it, but we were really mainly there to see my parents and my aunts and uncles. Me and my cousins, well, we're definitely sad and all, but we're losing a grandparent, while my Mom and her siblings are losing their parent. It's much harder on them, so I think my generation is mainly there to support our parents, and secondarily for our grandfather. But it still hurts.
I made it to 37 years old with all of my grandparents alive. That's a wonderful thing. But this is nonetheless not easy.
The person who was going to take the huge TV from upstairs, that fell through. So I'm not sure how I'm going to get rid of THAT. I've got someone coming over this afternoon, hopefully, to look at our basement and how to get new washers and dryers for our tenants. I'm not going to really start cracking on looking for a job seriously until I've got the house fixed up for
vonbeck to move upstairs and
jehanna to move downstairs.
I dunno.
So what's been going on? Last Friday, I got a provisional trial "rule-out" diagnosis of ADD. My psychopharm went through the questionnaires with me, and it came out with a strong "Maybe," so he proscribed me anti-ADD meds to see if they do anything useful. If they don't, then I don't have it. If they do, then I have another tool to becoming more functional.
So, my grandfather chose to forgo his last palliative hospital visit to drain the fluid that builds up in his abdomen, or something like that. He decided that it was time to stop care, and is now in his endgame. He's got morphine for the pain, and is therefore sleeping, and all of his children are around. Typically, it's about a day to a week until death at that point, and that all happened yesterday. So he could die any minute, or any time this week.
We went over last night to see him; he was asleep through it, but we were really mainly there to see my parents and my aunts and uncles. Me and my cousins, well, we're definitely sad and all, but we're losing a grandparent, while my Mom and her siblings are losing their parent. It's much harder on them, so I think my generation is mainly there to support our parents, and secondarily for our grandfather. But it still hurts.
I made it to 37 years old with all of my grandparents alive. That's a wonderful thing. But this is nonetheless not easy.
The person who was going to take the huge TV from upstairs, that fell through. So I'm not sure how I'm going to get rid of THAT. I've got someone coming over this afternoon, hopefully, to look at our basement and how to get new washers and dryers for our tenants. I'm not going to really start cracking on looking for a job seriously until I've got the house fixed up for
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I dunno.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 04:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 04:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 04:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 04:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 04:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 04:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 04:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 04:55 pm (UTC)Good luck with your ADD meds. Mine have made a huge difference in my life. For the first time, I'm not wishing I could just sleep forever, struggling to make it through the day. I have actual energy, and I can focus it on whatever I want. It's taking some getting used to.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 05:02 pm (UTC)I hope that the meds make a positive difference for you.
And I wish you good luck in finding a taker for the TV, and success in getting appropriate areas of the house fixed up for new tenants.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 06:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 06:16 pm (UTC)Nor will anyone in Libya or New Zealand be helped if you sit worrying about them instead of about your family and your mental health. Think about them, yes. Think about what, if anything, you are going to do to help. Then do it, and go on to the next thing. You aren't an EMT in New Zealand, there's nothing useful you could accomplish by dropping your own life right now.
Remember "your own oxygen mask first"? Those ADD meds are part of securing your oxygen mask.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 07:19 pm (UTC)Except the anonymous spam comment that I see just above mine and below redbird's.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 07:27 pm (UTC)I've found the Craigslist "free" section to be a terrific place to get rid of unwanted things. In fact, I used it to get rid of my much-less-cool-than-that TV just recently. Freecycle might also do.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 07:40 pm (UTC)*sprays bleach on the spammer*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 07:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-22 08:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-23 12:07 am (UTC)P.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-23 03:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-23 06:32 am (UTC)Wishing peace for your grandfather and strength for the rest of you guys.