Sometimes I suspect. . .

[xiphias]

. . . that polyamory is simply a way to allow people to have, simultaneously, the psychodrama, acute stress, and uncertanty of dating, and all the annoyance, tedium, and chronic stress of long-term settled relationships.

Comments

[jehanna.livejournal.com]

Get out of my braaaaainnnnn.....:P

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

You are one of the (rather many) people I had in mind while typing this . . .

[jehanna.livejournal.com]

Yes, well. The fun part of polyamory comes when multiple relationships blow up at once. It's twice the angst packed into the same short timespan! Wheeeee.

Lotsa comments here defending polyamory. I'm glad to see them; it's not as if I'd ever give it up at this point. It's not as if polyamory is inherently bad or anything because this happens sometimes, it's just that sometimes for whatever reasons everything goes flooey at once.

[angelovernh.livejournal.com]

hrm.. now that's a very negative perspective of it..
but as for me.. yeay drama!!!

Drama Queens Unite!

(Not seriously, I'm just being facetious.)

[rosefox]

Crossposted to dot_cattiness?

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Thought about it, but I don't actually consider it to be a terribly catty comment. Now, if this was in response to someone going on about how polyamory was a panacea to all relationships, and it solved all relationship problems, and everybody should do it because it makes life wonderful, THEN it would be a catty comment.

But, c'mon, nobody would EVER say something like THAT, would they?

But, as it is, it's just meant as a borderline-cynical observation. Not really intended as catty.

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

*snickering helplessly*
I think I love you. ; D

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

I think it depends on the poly people you know. I have moments of stress and uncertainty re: dating, but Ranj is my rock, the stable place I stand to face *all* life's problems, including figuring out when people I like are interested in me back.

Oddly enough, I'm his rock, too. I'm not sure how that works. Some sort of supportive yin/yang, maybe. Either that, or an Escher drawing.

[supergee.livejournal.com]

That's the way it should be, and though Escher never did three hands drawing each other, that can be done too.

[smcwhort.livejournal.com]

No doubt that's true for some people, but not for *all* people.

And even if it were a tool for enhancing psychodrama, it's still a tool for multiplying the love in one's life ...

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

Seems true for me, too, even if your description accentuates the negative sides of both...

[brooksmoses]

Nah. Can't be; there's no room in there for the psychodrama, acute stress, and uncertainty of long-settled relationships.

Although I post this in part noting that this evening seems to have brought a notable reduction in same in my case, for which I am very glad.

Mix in livejournal and...

[rmjwell.livejournal.com]

You can also have the fun of watching people whose relationships are spinning down the toilet of karma telling all and sundry that "No, really everything is perfect and happy and wonderful" in the same tone of voice the captain of the Titanic used to tell the Vanderbilts that extra ice wouldn't be a problem.

Seriously, though, I believe some of the folks would just find something else to get all psychodramatic about even if they weren't poly. It just seems to be the way some folks operate. With polyamory, they get to have more collateral damage to their emotional carpet bombing.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

Heh. Sometimes, so do I. And I love being poly and love you for introducing me to the concept.

A.
who has never found loving a concept, or a person, to preclude some cynicism about it.

From where you get your data....

[mama-hogswatch.livejournal.com]

You know, I can't really blame you for feeling that way. Poly often looks that way to me, when I encounter it on the net.

It doesn't look that way to me when I encounter it within my family.

Re: From where you get your data....

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

nellorat's comment below applies to your situation, as well, I suspect.

Re: From where you get your data....

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

That's supposed to say "nellorat's comment."

ANd another thing:

[mama-hogswatch.livejournal.com]

http://www.ourlittlequad.com/polystats.html

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

Would you like your victim broiled or fried?

[porcinea.livejournal.com]

Amen!

[teddywolf.livejournal.com]

For some people that is indeed the case.

Some people.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

But. . . but. . . Teddy, you're one of the people about whom this is true!

It's just that you happen to deal with both sets of stresses with enough grace that you make it look easy.

But you do deal with both sorts of stress -- I've seen you do so. It's just that you do it well.

[teddywolf.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't do it if it weren't worthwhile for me to do so. I have personal rules about stretching myself too thin :)

[hobbitblue.livejournal.com]

::giggle:: you may have a point! And hi, found you from a pointer in rosefox's LJ. You seem very cool, in fact reading back through your entries I've been giggling happily (um, at the intentionally humourous bits, I promise :> ) so have added you :)

[undauntra.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he's one of the coolest people I know.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Added you back so you can see friends-only stuff.

[hobbitblue.livejournal.com]

Thankee :)

[nellorat.livejournal.com]

Whereas polyfidelity (or as-near-as) can be a way to look all cutting-edge and transgresive without, in fact, having to put up with any more drama than a boring old monogamous couple! ;-)

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Besides, you've already found two perfect husbands, so it would be greedy to look further.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

well, that's certainly a bonus.