Purim went well
Mar. 1st, 2010 10:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xiphiasAs I think I've mentioned previously, last year's purim schpeil was such a disaster that we got complaints about it just not being funny, and, generally, being a mess. So the pressure was on to redeem ourselves this year.
Long story short, I think we did. We just went slapstick this year, which worried my boss. However, after she saw the first rehearsal, she was a convert. She explained that she wasn't dubious about physical comedy per se -- she was dubious about poorly performed physical comedy. And, once she saw the kids perform, she knew it would work out. And it did.
So, when you read the script, it won't be as funny as some of our other schpeils have been, because, well, it's all visual. But it worked well on stage.
MORDECHAI enters STAGE RIGHT BIMAH dressed in a robe, with a staff and long beard, as if we were doing a normal Purim schpiel
MORDECHAI: As you know, Hadassah, the King is holding a beauty contest to choose a new Queen. If you were able to become the Queen, you would be able to help the Jewish community. I think you should enter.
ESTHER follows him in STAGE RIGHT BIMAH, dressed in as normal an Esther costume as we can manage
ESTHER: Okay. I'll enter. And I have a secret plan to win.
MORDECHAI and ESTHER EXIT STAGE RIGHT FLOOR.
ACHASHVEIROSH enters, dressed in as normal an Achashveirosh costume as we can manage, and carrying a queen's crown.
ACHASHVEIROSH: Welcome to the Shushan Beauty Contest! ONE of these lucky ladies will walk off tonight with our grand prize – ME!! The rest of the contestants will have to make do with our consolation prize. Which, actually, is ALSO me. But only the winner will get to wear THIS crown, the crown of the Queen of Persia. So, let's start this off!
ACHASHVEIROSH sits down in the chair UPSTAGE RIGHT. BEAUTY PAGENT CONTESTANTS ENTER STAGE LEFT BIMA and STAGE RIGHT BIMA, wearing gowns. They arrange themselves in two diagonal lines, one on each side of the bima.
ESTHER and MORDECHAI enter STAGE RIGHT FLOOR and walk to base of stairs. MORDECHAI stands upstage from ESTHER, closer to the bimah
ESTHER turns to face MORDECHAI, so her back is to the audience, and puts on a blue lucha libre mask.
MORDECHAI: That's your brilliant plan, Hadassah? You're going to be a Na'avi from Avatar?
ESTHER: Don't be stupid. We don't have a budget of five hundred million dollars to put on the schpiel.
ESTHER turns around and faces the audience.
ESTHER: And don't call me “Hadassah”. When I'm wearing the mask, call me . . . ESTHER!!!
ESTHER runs up the stairs and yells at the contestants. Almost all the contestants run off, except Max, at stage left. ESTHER goes up to him.
ESTHER: Boo.
MAX runs screaming off STAGE RIGHT.
ESTHER: See? I told you it would work.
MORDECHAI: Esther! Look out!
At this point, the fight scene begins. Through the whole thing, ACHASHVEIROSH should be looking more and more scared in the background, ending up curled on one of the chairs in the fetal position, sucking his thumb.
LUCHADOR enters STAGE LEFT BIMAH with a cardboard tube. LUCHADOR hits ESTHER from behind with the tube.
ESTHER takes the blow, stands up, then punches LUCHADOR, who falls over, then scrambles out.
THREE NINJAS enter, STAGE RIGHT BIMA. They line up and make a threatening pose. ESTHER throws a punch at the first one, and all three fall over like dominoes, and then scramble out.
TWO TINY NINJAS enter, STAGE LEFT BIMA. They do threatening kata.
ESTHER: You HAVE to be kidding.
TINY NINJA punches ESTHER in the leg. ESTHER staggers backward a step.
ESTHER: Ow. Um. I'll give you a cookie if you go away.
TINY NINJAS: Yaay!
ESTHER gives a hamentashen to TINY NINJA, who exits STAGE LEFT BIMA, eating the hamentashen.
THREE NINJAS enter STAGE RIGHT BIMA and LUCHADOR enters STAGE LEFT BIMA.
ESTHER mimes “gathering energy” sort of like they do in Dragon Ball Z, then punches the floor. All the bad guys fall over, as if they were hit by a shockwave, and lie on the stage.
MORDECHAI: Well, I guess that means you did it. You seem to have won the, um, “beauty contest”.
ESTHER walks over to ACHASHVEIROSH, and takes the crown from his hands. She walks back to the center of the stage and raises it over her head like a title belt.
KANYE WEST enters STAGE LEFT BIMA
KANYE WEST: Yo, Esther, I'm really happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but Vashti was one of the best Queens of Persia of all time. OF ALL TIME!
ESTHER looks at KANYE WEST, and makes a threatening gesture at him. KANYE WEST screams and runs off STAGE LEFT BIMA. ESTHER then puts the crown on, walks over to ACHASHVEIROSH, who is still in the fetal position sucking his thumb, picks him up, and walks off STAGE RIGHT BIMA
Long story short, I think we did. We just went slapstick this year, which worried my boss. However, after she saw the first rehearsal, she was a convert. She explained that she wasn't dubious about physical comedy per se -- she was dubious about poorly performed physical comedy. And, once she saw the kids perform, she knew it would work out. And it did.
So, when you read the script, it won't be as funny as some of our other schpeils have been, because, well, it's all visual. But it worked well on stage.
MORDECHAI enters STAGE RIGHT BIMAH dressed in a robe, with a staff and long beard, as if we were doing a normal Purim schpiel
MORDECHAI: As you know, Hadassah, the King is holding a beauty contest to choose a new Queen. If you were able to become the Queen, you would be able to help the Jewish community. I think you should enter.
ESTHER follows him in STAGE RIGHT BIMAH, dressed in as normal an Esther costume as we can manage
ESTHER: Okay. I'll enter. And I have a secret plan to win.
MORDECHAI and ESTHER EXIT STAGE RIGHT FLOOR.
ACHASHVEIROSH enters, dressed in as normal an Achashveirosh costume as we can manage, and carrying a queen's crown.
ACHASHVEIROSH: Welcome to the Shushan Beauty Contest! ONE of these lucky ladies will walk off tonight with our grand prize – ME!! The rest of the contestants will have to make do with our consolation prize. Which, actually, is ALSO me. But only the winner will get to wear THIS crown, the crown of the Queen of Persia. So, let's start this off!
ACHASHVEIROSH sits down in the chair UPSTAGE RIGHT. BEAUTY PAGENT CONTESTANTS ENTER STAGE LEFT BIMA and STAGE RIGHT BIMA, wearing gowns. They arrange themselves in two diagonal lines, one on each side of the bima.
ESTHER and MORDECHAI enter STAGE RIGHT FLOOR and walk to base of stairs. MORDECHAI stands upstage from ESTHER, closer to the bimah
ESTHER turns to face MORDECHAI, so her back is to the audience, and puts on a blue lucha libre mask.
MORDECHAI: That's your brilliant plan, Hadassah? You're going to be a Na'avi from Avatar?
ESTHER: Don't be stupid. We don't have a budget of five hundred million dollars to put on the schpiel.
ESTHER turns around and faces the audience.
ESTHER: And don't call me “Hadassah”. When I'm wearing the mask, call me . . . ESTHER!!!
ESTHER runs up the stairs and yells at the contestants. Almost all the contestants run off, except Max, at stage left. ESTHER goes up to him.
ESTHER: Boo.
MAX runs screaming off STAGE RIGHT.
ESTHER: See? I told you it would work.
MORDECHAI: Esther! Look out!
At this point, the fight scene begins. Through the whole thing, ACHASHVEIROSH should be looking more and more scared in the background, ending up curled on one of the chairs in the fetal position, sucking his thumb.
LUCHADOR enters STAGE LEFT BIMAH with a cardboard tube. LUCHADOR hits ESTHER from behind with the tube.
ESTHER takes the blow, stands up, then punches LUCHADOR, who falls over, then scrambles out.
THREE NINJAS enter, STAGE RIGHT BIMA. They line up and make a threatening pose. ESTHER throws a punch at the first one, and all three fall over like dominoes, and then scramble out.
TWO TINY NINJAS enter, STAGE LEFT BIMA. They do threatening kata.
ESTHER: You HAVE to be kidding.
TINY NINJA punches ESTHER in the leg. ESTHER staggers backward a step.
ESTHER: Ow. Um. I'll give you a cookie if you go away.
TINY NINJAS: Yaay!
ESTHER gives a hamentashen to TINY NINJA, who exits STAGE LEFT BIMA, eating the hamentashen.
THREE NINJAS enter STAGE RIGHT BIMA and LUCHADOR enters STAGE LEFT BIMA.
ESTHER mimes “gathering energy” sort of like they do in Dragon Ball Z, then punches the floor. All the bad guys fall over, as if they were hit by a shockwave, and lie on the stage.
MORDECHAI: Well, I guess that means you did it. You seem to have won the, um, “beauty contest”.
ESTHER walks over to ACHASHVEIROSH, and takes the crown from his hands. She walks back to the center of the stage and raises it over her head like a title belt.
KANYE WEST enters STAGE LEFT BIMA
KANYE WEST: Yo, Esther, I'm really happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but Vashti was one of the best Queens of Persia of all time. OF ALL TIME!
ESTHER looks at KANYE WEST, and makes a threatening gesture at him. KANYE WEST screams and runs off STAGE LEFT BIMA. ESTHER then puts the crown on, walks over to ACHASHVEIROSH, who is still in the fetal position sucking his thumb, picks him up, and walks off STAGE RIGHT BIMA
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 03:33 pm (UTC)Our beauty contest was American Idol, where I sang Wed-a-wed-a-wed me to the tune of touch-a-touch-a-touch me.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 06:05 pm (UTC)Great stuff! I visualized 12 and under, in ages... :o)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 08:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 01:48 am (UTC)There are few things in this life to compare to the naturalness of kids! Years ago, the "Special Populations" Softball games were the most exciting thing around! :o)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 06:34 pm (UTC)That is magical.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 08:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 10:50 pm (UTC)