Two related thoughts

[xiphias]

1. So, I'm finally beginning to get really nervous about the trip we're going on Thursday. It will be the first time I've ever been out of the country, and I'm just plain scared. My hands are shaking, palms sweating, and mouth dry. I hate travel, and I'm going to try my best to have a good time. Because it's an awesome trip: London for a few days, then train to Italy for more time. We're even already packed, and our luggage is reasonably lug-able. So, now that there is nothing to be nervous about, I'm massively nervous.


2. You know that song "Boston" by Augustana? About a woman who's sick of her life and wants to start over, so is saying that she'll go to Boston, away from California? The whole idea of Boston being the exotic, far-away place where you can start over, and California being the starting point you're getting away with so messes with me that I literally feel nauseous every time I hear the song. Not because the song's bad or anything, but because that idea of Boston being there and some place other than Boston being here is so disorienting that I get motion sickness.

Comments

[metahacker.livejournal.com]

2. Especially that bit about where the singer is tired of the weather there. You're welcome to our February and March, buddy.

[brooksmoses]

Honestly, I'd gladly take the trade.

Signed, someone who misses sleet and snow and rain and stuff.

[metahacker.livejournal.com]

Maybe we need some sort of exchange program. It's not the weather I mind then, it's the sameness of the unrelenting gray (usually without snow), for 8-12 weeks.

[brooksmoses]

Yes, exactly! And I do like the weather here, really -- but the sameness of unrelenting blue is wearing, much like the sameness of unrelenting gray.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

when my life really especially sucks i think about running away to boston. seriously. it's a nice place, i like it, and i have never lived with/dated/worked for anyone there. which makes it appealing.

(please don't throw up)

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Much as I love Boston, it's full of my exes, so I would have a hard time moving there. At one point it contained all of my most important ex-sweeties: my ex-husband, the ex-boyfriend who got me pregnant but refused to marry me, and the ex-couple. The ex-couple are my first girlfriend and her husband, to whom I introduced her. I dated him for two years in college, and he and I still, almost 30 years later, have unfinished business, including the fact that he dumped me without warning and several years later stole the woman I loved.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

you can run away to minneapolis, then. ;)

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Any time. Rents are reasonable, and I know a lot of cool people there.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Albuquerque! Mountains right at the edge of town. And we haven't a bear wander into a middle school since May!

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

I love Albuquerque. I can't breathe there because of the altitude, but then I don't breathe especially well anywhere. Lots of LGBTQ folk, actual extinct volcanoes, and cool bead shops. I also love the sensual curves of adobe houses -- they're like living inside a beautiful woman. It -- like Minneapolis -- is on my list of places I could actually live, if I ever have to leave the Bay Area.

[juliansinger.livejournal.com]

Is your ex-husband still here? For some reason, this concept is making my mental skin itch.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Not so far as I know. He quit his job there after a year and moved to northern Virginia; we were divorced in Alexandria. Dunno where he's been since.

[juliansinger.livejournal.com]

Cool. My mental itch can go away now.

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

One look at the rents, and I'm sure you'll feel better.

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

Italy is a marvelous country! And London is a wonderful city. When I am in London I always feel like I am in NYC, but through the looking glass. It sounds weird, but I think of NY and London as the two sides of the looking glass. I love them both though. London is very easy to navigate via the Tube as well, with good maps and the like. Plus, everyone speaks English :)

In Italy less people speak English, but everyone will help you out. Italians are some of the friendliest, warmest, and sweetest people on the planet. You won't go hungry even if you get lost because there are little shops with food everywhere.

I know you are scared - it's scary and nervewracking to leave one's home - but just remember that the world is full of people just like you and me. Most of them are very sweet, friendly, and kind.

Have a WONDERFUL trip!

N.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Two phrases: dua bier, dua cappuccino. Life will be good.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

But cappuccino is only to be drunk in the morning, and not TOO hot. It's a breakfast drink. I think it'll be espresso longo for me the rest of the time.

And I suspect I'm going to be drinking more vino than bier -- I like them both, but Italy is known for its pairings of wine and food. It has only recently become known for fine wine, but its table wines have always been considered pretty good.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

I'm doing my best to look forward to both parts of the trips. I expect to love Italy and London -- but that doesn't change the fact that I will be outside of New England for three weeks.

I don't expect, or want, London or Rome or Florence to be anything like Boston -- Boston is Boston, London is London, Florence is Florence, and so forth. But I belong in New England. That doesn't mean I can't go other places, and it doesn't mean I can't like other places. I like San Francisco, Chicago, and Madison, for instance. I think I'd like New York if I spent time there. But spending three weeks away seems excessive.

[phantom_wolfboy]

You sound like H. P. Lovecraft. He travelled a bit, and even lived in New York for a while, but he belonged in New England too.

But I belong in New England.

[stickylatex.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I feel exactly the same way!! Unfortunately, I'm stuck in Texas. Austin, which is nice, but Texas nonetheless.

[ckd]

Londoners love to complain about the Tube, and London Transport in general.

When compared to the MBTA, LT looks like a bunch of perfectionist geniuses.

[cheshyre]

Oh my gd, the TFL website is amazing for the amount of information provided.

Heck, I stumbled upon "on-time performace reports" for all the bus-lines. Individual reports for each bus. They'll generate walking maps from the tube (or bus) station to any address, they've got a cell-phone-loadable map and a WAP application for current conditions or directions... I love it!

[ckd]

On one of our trips to London, I noticed that a bus stop near Charing Cross had the wrong route map/list. On the sign was an email address for comments; I sent email, and got a response after our return saying "thank you and we'll take care of it". It was a couple of weeks after my original email, but since it was over the Christmas/New Year timeframe I didn't exactly think it a bad turnaround time.

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

...and SEPTA makes the MBTA look competent, cheerful, and enthusiastic.

[madcaptenor.livejournal.com]

I live in Philadelphia. I don't have a car. Most of the places I want to get to, I could take SEPTA. But I choose to walk. It takes longer, but it's a hell of a lot less stressful.

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

...whereas in Boston, the saying is, "Shall we walk, or do we have time to take the T?"

[madcaptenor.livejournal.com]

I think people in every city love to complain about their public transit.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you might be a candidate for nostalgia. The disease, not the sentiment.

There are people who cannot stand to leave home. My grandmother is like that. Until Alzheimers took her to a nursing home 10 miles away (and staffed by relatives), she'd never lived off her family's land. She was surrounded by a community of cousins and other relatives. I very much doubt if she has ever spoken to a person of a different race. I'm sure she's never been on close terms with someone of a different religion. She spent her whole life raising children and keeping house and canning the food Grandpa grew in the garden. She did work in a coat factory, sewing, while she was in her forties and fifties. She never learned to drive.

The life I lead is unimaginable to her. Yet I would, if I could, have stayed home forever. I still sometimes have a hard time leaving the house. But it's more than fear. It's also love. And oh God how I love the country I came from. That ferocious sense of belonging -- of centuries anchored in the same spot, woven into the community, knowing all the stories for generations back. But I can't have that.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Yes, that.

One time, when my mother was pregnant with me, she didn't happen to leave the house for three or four months. Dad would pick up groceries on his way home, they would have friends over, Mom stayed home, made huge pots of soup for them and their friends, painted and fixed up the place in preparation for my birth, and so forth.

She had no NEED to go outside, so why would she?

We've only been in Boston since, oh, 1900 or so, so we're newcomers to the city. But I put down roots pretty well.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Yeah, me too. I want to stay where I am. Here I know the stories. This is my cultural context.

(And thanks for this thread. It and a few others are contributing to a long post I hope to make soon. About Home and WisCon and everything.)

[rebmommy.livejournal.com]

This is true - I stayed home for pretty much all of December, January, and February. The baby I was taking care of was brought to our apartment instead of my going to his mother's house. Dad did errands and bought groceries. It was a pretty snowy and icy winter and I didn't want to fall on the ice. And although we did have two cars (my van and dad's pick-up truck) I tended to use public transportation more than the car. Besides, it was the gas shortage of 1974 - long lines at gas stations, gas rationing of sorts, and sometimes none to buy, anyway. Seemed easier to stay home most of the time. Until that fateful evening of the double feature - "The Way We Were" with Barbra Streisand and "Butterflies are Free" with Goldie Hawn - two of the longest movies ever made, it seemed. I didn't know it at the time, but I was already in labor. No wonder I couldn't wait to get out of the movie theater and back home to my little "nest".

[delerium69.livejournal.com]

I suppose I have half of your problem - I love to travel but I hate the actual getting there part because I'm mostly convinced the mode of transportation (esp planes and cars) will do me in. Once I'm there, I'm just fine and dandy. It still makes travel scary for me. Yet wanting to visit the "other place" always seems to win out. I guess the wanderlust wins out over the fear.

But traveling in Europe via train, now that sounds grand. I've always wanted to do it. I'll be looking forward to hearing about your trip. And remember Italy is hot in the summer, so keep well-hydrated! (Boy I've always wanted to visit Italy, though not as much as Ireland.)

p.s. Be certain to drink some limoncello - it's so yummy. It's like a lemon drop that makes you very happy. Bon voyage!

[solipsistnation.livejournal.com]

Since I drove to California last week and have noplace to go back to in Worcester... Yeah, it's pretty weird. Seeing the whole country along the way really drives home the massive distance, and seeing how people are different along the way makes it that much more real.

I can see palm trees from the window of my temporary apartment. And lots of flat land and mountains in the distance. It's weird.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Welcome to California.

[felis-sidus.livejournal.com]

Just wondering: Can you recall a time in your life when you didn't feel this way about travel?

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Nope. As far as I can tell, I got this trait prenatally.

I did like summer camp -- in Vermont. I'm basically fine within New England. Upstate New York feels a bit far for me.

[felis-sidus.livejournal.com]

So, since it seems to have been a lifelong thing, it's probably something on a pretty subtle level. If this is something you'd rather not have to live with, there's one thing you might consider, that's pretty easy to try. Next time you're going to be in the same area as deerdancer, it might help to ask her to do a balancing session for you.

I suggest this based on personal experience. You may recall that for many years (decades?) I didn't drive, at least partly because I was concerned that I might eventually be involved in an accident in which someone would be killed. Not cause the accident, mind, just be involved in it. Given my intuition's track record, I was reluctant to assume this was just a phobia and not an intuitive warning. deerdancer did a brief (5 to 15 minute) balancing session. (It did not involve talking about the subject.) I didn't really feel that anything had changed, but somehow, a few weeks later, it just seemed comfortable to get my license again. And within 6 months found myself taking a road trip to New York. That was a very productive 15 minutes!

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

I wish I knew how to make you feel better except to wish you a safe trip.

[hangedwoman.livejournal.com]

I hope that once you actually get over there you have a fabulous time.

On 2) - I have, err, similar issues. Alaska is a place a lot of people run away to. On one hand I do understand it, but I still suspect I'm going to run away from home someday.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Welcome home...

The whole idea of Boston being the exotic, far-away place where you can start over, and California being the starting point you're getting away with so messes with me that I literally feel nauseous every time I hear the song. Not because the song's bad or anything, but because that idea of Boston being there and some place other than Boston being here is so disorienting that I get motion sickness.

Wow.

I've been pondering the meaning of "home" for a while, but I've very firmly grounded in the idea that "exotic" is all relative. rivka and I once had a conversation whereat she boggled that I found the idea of chocolate layer cake and chocolate buttercream frosting, all made from scratch, to be "exotic".