A negative comment about a party at Arisia

[xiphias]

Far as I'm concerned, you can EITHER have an invite-only party OR you can advertise your party.

But it's FUCKING RUDE to advertise your invite-only party.

Don't mind invite-only parties. Don't even mind invite-only parties who, apparently, were going around handing out invites only to women who were dressed slutty. Heck, if someone took that to the extreme, and walked around the con handing out slips of paper which said, "You're sexy. Come to my room at 11 pm," that wouldn't bother me. And if he or she got people to show up, more power to him or her.

DO mind people who do that and also put posters up in the stairwells advertising their party. It's fucking RUDE to do that, then set up a velvet rope outside, and do the "club" thing. Dunno about you, but I go to cons to get away from that kind of dynamic.

Yes, I'm pissed off at not being pretty enough to get into that party.

Comments

Re: One of the Party Hosts

[(Anonymous)]

OK now I'm starting to get defensive. :)

I'm sorry it came off like that and will see that door speak is more clear in the future. While I understand some folks would take offense at a leash as a fashion statement, I also hate the boundaries of political correctness and would have to say that last years Church of Skank was surely offensive to persons of each religion of the types of clergies we dressed up as, but we still did that. We like to be equal opportunity offensive.

I might curb the leash use so as not to send the wrong message at the door, but I would not want to take it off the list of possibilities just to avoid offending alternative lifestyle folk (whom I nevertheless support fully). Can I also not wear collars or leather, or rubber, or latex, unless I am heading to a play party? What if I belong to a certain group, but am just going out dancing? Is it offensive to wear a ring on your left hand if you are not married?

We understand special relationships and we actually let either party hold the leash if it was requested, not a problem. But everything is a symbol to someone and in our walk-on-eggshell society, sometimes I just get tired of the overthink. I can't promise we won't offend someone next year too, but only some of it will be on purpose, and none of it will be meant to hurt anyone's feelings, or to exclude a single person who has met our single criteria of spending time and effort on making a cool costume and not creeping us out.

Thanks.

Re: One of the Party Hosts

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

or to exclude a single person who has met our single criteria of spending time and effort on making a cool costume and not creeping us out.

I think those are good and admirable criteria for a party.

I just wish I'd known about the first half of it.

(I did kind of assume the second half.)