Most of the times people post "This Is How Cute We Are Together" LJ posts, they're not this gross.

[xiphias]

Yet another in the ongoing series of "life at our house." But grosser than most.


[IAN is coughing, with his hacking, phlegm-y cough (which, frankly, is a big step up from the dry coughing spasms I was having a couple days ago)]
IAN: Hey, love? Do we have an attachment for the vacuum cleaner that I can stick down my throat and vacuum out my lungs?
LIS: [pauses, thinks] No, but if you invent one, can I use it to take care of my periods?
IAN: Only if it has interchangeable heads. NOT using the same one for both.

Comments

[felis-sidus.livejournal.com]

Well, such instruments actually already are made. But they cost a lot, so there's still room for economy models...

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

See! It's a GREAT idea! I see NO potential for manufacturer liability suits! It's right up there with my "Home Food Preservation/Botox Injection" kit idea!

(I mean, why not, right? ONE of those two will work, won't it?)

[kyra-ojosverdes.livejournal.com]

*notes that "tracheostomy being vacummed out with special vacuum for folks with tracheostomies" is one of the most disgusting sounds she's ever heard and that it's hard to maintain a polite "totally not noticing your discomfiture at having to do this" when actively retching* (felt like a very bad human for not being able to cover that, too)

[cheshyre]

For which purpose? Or both?

[felis-sidus.livejournal.com]

Both. Different instruments. Their use is not generally high on folks' list of experiences they wish to repeat often, although I imagine yours would be significantly less onerous than Ian's.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

And if you base it on a Roomba, it'll take care of things when you're not thinking about it.

/comment deleted and reposted due to grammar correction.

[vvalkyri.livejournal.com]

:snerk:
squick squick

[(Anonymous)]

They could call it the "Empress Theodora" model.

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

It amazes me sometimes how much the two of you sound like me and kitanzi. :)

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Now that's what I call a good marriage.

Please make sure you have a sinus attachment, too.

[mightydoll.livejournal.com]

Market it.

It will go far.

[mightydoll.livejournal.com]

so says the great Houdeni.

(yes, I both comment to my own comment and reference myself in aggradized form...do I win the narcissist of the year award yet?)

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

Only if you give yourself the award.

[ewtikins.livejournal.com]

Sounds like one of those sucky things they use at the dentist.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

I would like to have a dentist chair at home. It has all those adjustments, that sucky thing for really long Dr. Who marathons and the squirter, to keep the cat in line. Sweet!

[querldox.livejournal.com]

That idea really sucks.

[Hey, someone had to say it...]

[wildcard9.livejournal.com]

Bravo to both of you for this one! :-)

[ailbhe]

Thought of ages ago. Hard to implement. Also would like means of hauling lungs out so I can scrub them with wire wool and put them back in clean.

[rebmommy.livejournal.com]

ouch!