Comments I wrote that I liked enough to put here: "Why Are Men Such Arseholes?"

[xiphias]

Once again, I wrote a comment I like well enough to put in my own blog. This was in the group ask_a_question, and the question asked was "Why are men such arseholes? And why do they never have a decent explanation as to why there were such arseholes???"

Here's what I replied:

For the same reason that women are such arseholes.

And the reason they never have a good explanation is that they don't understand why, themselves. If they understood why, then they could avoid being arseholes.

One ends up as an arsehole, I think, because of a lack of self-knowledge. Oh, you can be selfish and hurtful and all the rest while knowing what you are and what you are doing -- but arseholeness is usually from some of those things plus self-ignorance.

So: what puts people into positions where they are arseholes?

I suspect that one major reason is that they have put themselves into a position where they have taken on a responsibility which they cannot fulfill. And they are unaware of part of this. So they find themselves in a situation with which they cannot deal, and some part of themselves knows that they put themselves there.

Nobody likes to admit to oneself that one is in the wrong, so you look for outside forces to blame it on.

And this leads to arseholeness. An arsehole is usually, I think, in a situation which is his or her fault, and is attempting to make it into someone else's fault.

And they never have a good explanation because they cannot know, in themselves, that this is what they are doing.

Comments

[chaiya.livejournal.com]

My friend, you are very wise. I have an example of this phenomenon from today, in fact. :P

[bride.livejournal.com]

I agree.

Part of it, too, is that I think they've never had to take responsibility for or face any of the consequences of their own arsehole behaviour. They've always gotten off easy because either someone protected them each time (as in a parent or a spouse) or they've always been [un]lucky enough to get away with it.

[dandelion-diva.livejournal.com]

Oh, well said!

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

For the same reason that women are such arseholes.

That was exactly what popped into my mind. :-)

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

Is that where you stopped?

[temima.livejournal.com]

"I suspect that one major reason is that they have put themselves into a position where they have taken on a responsibility which they cannot fulfill. And they are unaware of part of this. So they find themselves in a situation with which they cannot deal, and some part of themselves knows that they put themselves there."

I certainly have faced that on my part. I'm still not liking admitting it either.

[ailbhe]

There's nothing quite as satisfying as a fully-functional arsehole.