Tending bar on Saturday night

[xiphias]

Friday, I tended bar for an event at MIT; tending bar at the Sloan Center is always weird, because they've got the weirdest system of inventory management and alcohol setup: bartender's choice. Every other place I've ever worked, the event planner and the event holder jointly choose what will be served at the bar; at MIT Sloan Center, if there's a full bar, the rule is just "Go into the liquor closet and grab what you think people will want, and keep track of it." I guess it's pretty fun, but it's weird. Oh, and they lack some things that I consider basics, like Jack Daniels. They won't buy the stuff -- their bourbon is Wild Turkey. No idea why.

Anyway, on to Saturday night. It was a bat mitzvah, but not through Bruce. I like to think that, had Bruce been in charge, it wouldn't have been like that.

Here's a copy of the email I sent to the Temple:

I was one of the people working at [REDACTED]'s bat mitzvah celebration this past Saturday.

It was an example of the kinds of excesses that I had heard about in the past, but had never seen at any bar or bat mitzvah celebration.

Booze luges are inappropriate at a bat mitzvah celebration, and, indeed, at a Temple except possibly during Purim.

And go-go dancers are significantly beyond the pale.

Several of us who were working the event were shocked and dismayed at the event. While the dancers were perfectly nice people, this was not an event at which they should have been working.

If the [REDACTED] family did not have a basic comprehension of what constitutes appropriate behavior, as, evidently, they did not, I believe that the rest of the community should have taken action and not allowed such a shonda. Several of the people working were Jewish, and, although they did not make us ashamed to be Jewish, the [REDACTED]s certainly made us ashamed that they
were Jewish. We found ourselves having to explain repeatedly to our co-workers that they were not typical examples of Judaism.

While a celebration of a bat mitzvah should be a simcha, this party was something else entirely.

Such an event reflects badly not only on their family, not only on your community as a whole, but would have reflected badly on the entire am Yisrael, had those of us who are Jewish not explained how abberant the [REDACTED]s' actions were.

If anyone at the Temple, including the [REDACTED]s, would like to contact me to communicate further about this, this email address is usually the best way, but I am also available by telephone at [REDACTED].

Thank you for your time;

- Ian Osmond

There were other examples of excess, as well, of course, but those weren't worth getting into in an email. And, really, the the bat mitzvah's best friends reading a three-page poem they'd written about how much of a slut she was, that wasn't really the family's fault.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I guess we live in different worlds.

To me, what you presented in the letter and what you presented above are inconsistent. They can't both be true, so one or the other must be a misrepresentation.

To explain that statement a bit more... either what you presented above is an important reason why you are offended or it isn't. If it is, then it should have been presented in the letter. If it is not, then your presentation above is inaccurate.

Since I know that you aren't dishonest, clearly you use a different standard of measurement for honesty. I'm trying to understand the system you're using, so I ask about it.

Kiralee

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

I gave the relevant reasons. I didn't give the irrelevant reasons. I don't need to exhaustively give every reason I have for anything -- just the reasons that are relevant to the person to whom I'm talking.

[dancing-kiralee.livejournal.com]

Umm...

I don't know if I should say this... but...

I'm not sure that exactly helps; we still seem to be in different worlds.

Something is relevant if it is important to the writer, or the writer can reasonably assume that it's important to the audience. Everything that's relevant should be communicated, unless there is a specific reason not to.

If I'm the intended audience, and it's my role to address all of the writer's concerns, I need a complete list of those concerns. It doesn't need to be exhaustive, but if something is important to the writer, it should be on the list so I can address it.

So, either the reason presented above is important to you, in which case it's relevant and should be in your letter, or it isn't, in which case what you wrote above is inaccurate (because you presented it as an important reason).

Since I know that you're careful and skillful about these sorts of things, I must be missing something. I'm just not sure what it is I'm missing.

Kiralee