Tending bar on Saturday night

[xiphias]

Friday, I tended bar for an event at MIT; tending bar at the Sloan Center is always weird, because they've got the weirdest system of inventory management and alcohol setup: bartender's choice. Every other place I've ever worked, the event planner and the event holder jointly choose what will be served at the bar; at MIT Sloan Center, if there's a full bar, the rule is just "Go into the liquor closet and grab what you think people will want, and keep track of it." I guess it's pretty fun, but it's weird. Oh, and they lack some things that I consider basics, like Jack Daniels. They won't buy the stuff -- their bourbon is Wild Turkey. No idea why.

Anyway, on to Saturday night. It was a bat mitzvah, but not through Bruce. I like to think that, had Bruce been in charge, it wouldn't have been like that.

Here's a copy of the email I sent to the Temple:

I was one of the people working at [REDACTED]'s bat mitzvah celebration this past Saturday.

It was an example of the kinds of excesses that I had heard about in the past, but had never seen at any bar or bat mitzvah celebration.

Booze luges are inappropriate at a bat mitzvah celebration, and, indeed, at a Temple except possibly during Purim.

And go-go dancers are significantly beyond the pale.

Several of us who were working the event were shocked and dismayed at the event. While the dancers were perfectly nice people, this was not an event at which they should have been working.

If the [REDACTED] family did not have a basic comprehension of what constitutes appropriate behavior, as, evidently, they did not, I believe that the rest of the community should have taken action and not allowed such a shonda. Several of the people working were Jewish, and, although they did not make us ashamed to be Jewish, the [REDACTED]s certainly made us ashamed that they
were Jewish. We found ourselves having to explain repeatedly to our co-workers that they were not typical examples of Judaism.

While a celebration of a bat mitzvah should be a simcha, this party was something else entirely.

Such an event reflects badly not only on their family, not only on your community as a whole, but would have reflected badly on the entire am Yisrael, had those of us who are Jewish not explained how abberant the [REDACTED]s' actions were.

If anyone at the Temple, including the [REDACTED]s, would like to contact me to communicate further about this, this email address is usually the best way, but I am also available by telephone at [REDACTED].

Thank you for your time;

- Ian Osmond

There were other examples of excess, as well, of course, but those weren't worth getting into in an email. And, really, the the bat mitzvah's best friends reading a three-page poem they'd written about how much of a slut she was, that wasn't really the family's fault.

Comments

[jehanna.livejournal.com]

...

Okay, you managed to find an event that is EVEN MORE TASTELESS (although only just) than the kind of wretched bar/bat mitzvahs my relatives used to throw.

I am suitably stunned.

[quietann.livejournal.com]

per the bat mitzvah.... ouch. Just ouch.

It reminds me of watching a Comedy Central special recently, a "roast" of William Shatner. I consider myself to be pretty open-minded, but I don't watch TV at all, and I was utterly floored by how distasteful it was. My internal reaction throughout was "This is supposed to be funny?" while my external reaction was to just laugh along. Ugh.

[gilmoure.livejournal.com]

...their bourbon is Wild Turkey. No idea why.

Um...Wild Turkey bourbon tastes a hell of a lot better than sour mash whisky? Course, just about any bourbon tastes better than a Tennesee whisky.

For ultimate joy, Black Bush. Aargle...drool... Only way to make it better is to drop a shot in a pint of Guinness. So good!

[delerium69.livejournal.com]

*blink* Say what? This was a bat mitzvah? For a 13-year-old? She has actual parents?

Why does it sound like a really bad experience on "Sex and the City?" (Wait, I think it was)

Gross.

[querldox.livejournal.com]

I'll bite; did the 13 year old partake in the booze luges? Was she (or perhaps her male friends) attracted to the go-go dancers (hmm, you didn't specify the dancers' gender(s) did you)?

I guess I'm just missing how the heck this was a party for a 13 year old as opposed to the parents reliving their college frat/sorority days. Admittedly I'm not jewish, but the parents tossing a party more for themselves than for their daughter, the supposed honoree, strikes me as more offensive to me than having such at a religious-based event.

[ron_newman]

This was at our shul, in Somerville? It seems so out of character.

[thnidu.livejournal.com]

What's a booze luge? (Whatever it is, it sounds out of place.)

[cellio]

Ewww....

[mattblum.livejournal.com]

That is truly appalling.

Incidentally, did you change the girl's name and her family's name before you posted it? If you did, you should indicate such. If you didn't, I suggest you do so immediately. Regardless of whether you think she or her family deserve to have such details presented online, I doubt you want your potential future customers to know that you are likely to post details of functions you tend bar at without removing identifying details.

[rosefox]

Go-go dancers?!

I'm glad you wrote that letter. What a mess! (And the poem... just goes to show she's learned a lot from her parents about how to choose and entertain friends, I guess.)

[angelovernh.livejournal.com]

That is shocking.. a 13 yr old religious party with go-go dancers and booze luges sounds really just wrong.. Glad you followed through w/ letter.

[yehoshua.livejournal.com]

In defense of the shul: a lot of communities rent out their synagogues for the extra income, and as long as the basic rules are complied with (e.g. using caterers from the shul's approved list), they don't usually try to exercise much control before the fact. This has actually been a huge problem for Beth Bingo over the years, as the religious committee has tried to steer away from renting out the building on Shabbat for simchas they fear will be, at best, in poor taste. The shul board, OTOH, has the books in front of them, and knows they need the income to keep the lights on and the secretary from quitting, so they feel like they have no choice. And if a family wants to show that they completely lack derekh eretz, well, that's their business (in the eyes of the board).

It's not a great situation, but it's one in which a lot of shuls with aging/shrinking populations find themselves.