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xiphias ([personal profile] xiphias) wrote2006-09-11 09:05 pm
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Tending bar on Saturday night

Friday, I tended bar for an event at MIT; tending bar at the Sloan Center is always weird, because they've got the weirdest system of inventory management and alcohol setup: bartender's choice. Every other place I've ever worked, the event planner and the event holder jointly choose what will be served at the bar; at MIT Sloan Center, if there's a full bar, the rule is just "Go into the liquor closet and grab what you think people will want, and keep track of it." I guess it's pretty fun, but it's weird. Oh, and they lack some things that I consider basics, like Jack Daniels. They won't buy the stuff -- their bourbon is Wild Turkey. No idea why.

Anyway, on to Saturday night. It was a bat mitzvah, but not through Bruce. I like to think that, had Bruce been in charge, it wouldn't have been like that.

Here's a copy of the email I sent to the Temple:
I was one of the people working at [REDACTED]'s bat mitzvah celebration this past Saturday.

It was an example of the kinds of excesses that I had heard about in the past, but had never seen at any bar or bat mitzvah celebration.

Booze luges are inappropriate at a bat mitzvah celebration, and, indeed, at a Temple except possibly during Purim.

And go-go dancers are significantly beyond the pale.

Several of us who were working the event were shocked and dismayed at the event. While the dancers were perfectly nice people, this was not an event at which they should have been working.

If the [REDACTED] family did not have a basic comprehension of what constitutes appropriate behavior, as, evidently, they did not, I believe that the rest of the community should have taken action and not allowed such a shonda. Several of the people working were Jewish, and, although they did not make us ashamed to be Jewish, the [REDACTED]s certainly made us ashamed that they
were Jewish. We found ourselves having to explain repeatedly to our co-workers that they were not typical examples of Judaism.

While a celebration of a bat mitzvah should be a simcha, this party was something else entirely.

Such an event reflects badly not only on their family, not only on your community as a whole, but would have reflected badly on the entire am Yisrael, had those of us who are Jewish not explained how abberant the [REDACTED]s' actions were.

If anyone at the Temple, including the [REDACTED]s, would like to contact me to communicate further about this, this email address is usually the best way, but I am also available by telephone at [REDACTED].

Thank you for your time;

- Ian Osmond


There were other examples of excess, as well, of course, but those weren't worth getting into in an email. And, really, the the bat mitzvah's best friends reading a three-page poem they'd written about how much of a slut she was, that wasn't really the family's fault.

[identity profile] delerium69.livejournal.com 2006-09-12 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
*blink* Say what? This was a bat mitzvah? For a 13-year-old? She has actual parents?

Why does it sound like a really bad experience on "Sex and the City?" (Wait, I think it was)

Gross.

[identity profile] xiphias.livejournal.com 2006-09-12 01:39 am (UTC)(link)
Well, she has actual genetic-material donors with whom she lives, and they apparently feel affection for one another. I just don't personally think they do that much parenting.

[identity profile] adrian-turtle.livejournal.com 2006-09-12 03:37 am (UTC)(link)
Why not? If they're teaching her their values, that's a critical aspect of parenting. (Arguably, the most important aspect.) My mother tried hard to teach me her values, with only partial success. It didn't take. I mean, I disagree with at least 70% of what my mother values, and believe about a quarter of it to be actively evil. But she tried really hard to raise me with those values, both in the sense of making me grow up surrounded by them, and in the sense of wanting me to grow up having them. The bar mitzvah circuit was a significant part of that.

Where I come from, bnai mitzvah parties are *supposed* to be a chance to show off wealth and status, and formalized sexual display. I've always been uncomfortable with that sort of thing, and I was even less comfortable with it when I was younger. Thus my reputation for being anti-social.
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)

[personal profile] redbird 2006-09-13 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
I am now glad that (a) my brother's bar mitzvah wasn't like that, though there probably was an aspect of my parents showing off to some of their friends that yes, they could afford to throw a nice catered party; (b) I didn't have a bat mitzvah; and (c) you're safely away from where you grew up. (Okay, I have selfish reasons for that last.)

[identity profile] delerium69.livejournal.com 2006-09-12 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
Ouch!

I'm still trying to picture go-go dancers at a synagogue.

*squints* *furries brow*

Nope. Can't do it.

Now wearing my go-go boots to a synaogue...just kidding.