I got two bartending gigs this week
Jun. 8th, 2006 09:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xiphiasAnd one of them, Ed, the owner of the service, specifically wanted me for it. It looks like I'm going to be their go-to guy for bar mitzvahs. Because they've got a good working relationship with the caterer for bar mitzvahs, and, as the caterer said, "Ed sends me his best people." I'm apparently one of his best people.
Damn, I'm good.
So, given that I'm good, I thought I'd write up a bit of Advice for Bartenders, 'cause, what's the point of being damn good if you can't wax pedantic about it?
1. There are many skills that go into tending bar, and you need at least SOME level of all of them. They include:
a. Knowledge of drinks -- what goes into a Manhattan, a Greyhound, a Madras.
b. The skills of mixing drinks -- how to shake, how to strain, how to stir.
c. How to do a three-count pour -- to use a speed pourer to pour a perfect 1.5 oz (45 ml) of liquor out of a bottle without measuring.
d. An ability to mix drink after drink after drink in fifteen seconds each, time after time, reasonably close to perfectly. This involves things like being able to hear four or five drink orders at once, figuring out how to lay them out on the bar so you only have to pick up the vodka once, the gin once, the orange juice once, and so forth. Don't go TOO overboard on that kind of thing, though -- you will end up screwing up drinks. Still, if you have a vodka tonic and a Cape Codder ordered at once, put ice in two highball glasses, put them on your work surface side by side, pour the vodka into both glasses without stopping (that is, when you've got 1.5 oz of vodka in the first glass, just move the bottle over to the second glass without turning th bottle upright in between), put the vodka away, open the tonic and the cranberry juice if they're not open, pour both simultaneously, one with each hand, put them down and away, stir both drinks with both hands, put limes in both, and serve. If you use both hands, you can serve faster.
e. A sympathetic face if people want to listen, wit and charm if people want to banter, charisma and likability in general.
f. Knowledge of the laws concerning alcohol consumption in your state, familiarity with IDs and fake IDs, ability to identify people who are already drunk, ability to refuse service without offending anyone
g. Appreciation of alcohol yourself is beneficial, but not strictly necessary. You could imagine a vegetarian cook being able to grill a perfect steak, or a baker with a gluten allergy able to bake a good loaf of wheat bread. But it would be more difficult, because the cook would have to rely on other people for feedback. It could be done, though, and you can become a decent bartender without, yourself, drinking. It's just much EASIER if you can go home and practice your Bloody Mary recipe and taste the results yourself.
h. Ability to pull a good beer from a tap, with an appropriate amount of head, not too much, not too little.
i. Ability to open a bottle of champagne without injuring or spraying anyone. And to pour glasses of champagne.
j. Ability to open a bottle of wine quickly and efficiently. And to pour glasses of wine.
k. Ability to open a bottle of beer without getting shards of glass everywhere. (Hey, I managed to injure myself that way once. . . ) And to pour it.
j. Ability to do basic math in your head to charge for drinks and make change quickly and accurately.
Of all of these skills, the least important is "knowledge of drinks".
The reason to memorize drinks is "speed". But, if you don't know an obscure drink, look it up. Always carry a bartender's black book on the job, and if someone orders something weird, look it up. You don't need to know what's in a Dead Nazi (Jagermeister and Rumpleminz peppermint schnapps, for what it's worth -- it's MILDLY less disgusting than either Jagermeister or Rumpleminz on their own, but is still nasty) if you can look it up. And if there's a run on them, and you have to make twenty of them, you'll remember it after the second or third time you've looked it up. You should know the basics, things you're likely to be asked for, because, a) it saves time, and b) it's really embarrassing if you don't. Still, even the basics, people don't order using the cool drink names. I've probably served five times as many "Vodkas and Cranberry" as "Cape Codders", and for the hundreds (thousands? Naw, MAYBE a thousand, but not thousands) of Rums and Coke I've served, I've served three Cuba Libres. Heck, I've been asked for a "vodka and orange juice". I mean, c'mon, is there any drink whose name is better known than "screwdriver"?
Other things I've noticed: as a bartender, you're treated better than in any other service job. If you've ever worked retail, or waited tables, or worked phone tech support, you'll know that people get incredibly testy when they have to wait, no matter how slammed YOU are. Most people see how long THEY'VE had to wait, and have no sympathy for what YOU'RE going through.
Bartending is the only exception. And that's why I love tending bar. If people are packed five deep around your bar, and it takes fifteen minutes to get a drink, nobody takes it out on you. I mean, I guess if you were standing there talking on your cell phone and NOT working, people might rip you limb from limb (and you'd deserve it), but so long as you're working flat out and doing your best, nobody is really bothered. I don't know why -- maybe it's because they SEE you working so they know you're not slacking, maybe it's just a matter of expectations -- if you see a crowd at the bar, you know it's going to take a while, and, besides, it's a bar, it's like that.
If you pour the wrong drink, and have to remake one, there's a 1/3 chance the NEXT person in line will say, "Oh, what the hell, just give me THAT one you already made," and you won't have to throw it out. And if you do have to throw it out, big deal, you're expected to screw up every once in a while. Just not TOO often.
Heck, if you serve the wrong drink -- not like in a SERIOUS manner, but, like, putting ginger ale instead of Sprite in something, half the time, people won't even NOTICE, or, if they DO notice, won't particularly care. That said, don't serve the wrong drink. You're a professional; act like it.
If you're both serving customers and acting as a service bartender -- serving drinks both directly, and mixing them for the waitstaff to serve at tables -- the waitstaff gets priority. It's not 100%, if there's one guy at the bar, and he's been waiting for five minutes, and there are still more waitstaff waiting for their drinks to be filled, go ahead and help that one guy out before going back to service bartending, but, in general, help out your coworkers.
Similarly, start your shift with setting things up correctly, polishing things, making things look nice. Don't skimp on that. And your shift isn't over until everything's clean and put away. Don't leave extra work for everyone else to do.
If you're working functions, your job involves carrying tables beforehand, putting tablecloths and skirts on them, and setting up glasses. And it involves carrying bags of garbage out to the dumpster afterward. Don't try to weasel out of the gross parts of the job. Unless, like, you're seventy years old and have diabetes and a bad back. If you're a septuagenarian bartender, okay, fine, I'll carry your trash for you if you ask, and won't expect you to carry tables. Not that I'm going to stop you from carrying tables if you go for it -- there are plenty of seventy-year-old bartenders who are in better shape than I am.
Those are a few of the things I've learned so far.
Damn, I'm good.
So, given that I'm good, I thought I'd write up a bit of Advice for Bartenders, 'cause, what's the point of being damn good if you can't wax pedantic about it?
1. There are many skills that go into tending bar, and you need at least SOME level of all of them. They include:
a. Knowledge of drinks -- what goes into a Manhattan, a Greyhound, a Madras.
b. The skills of mixing drinks -- how to shake, how to strain, how to stir.
c. How to do a three-count pour -- to use a speed pourer to pour a perfect 1.5 oz (45 ml) of liquor out of a bottle without measuring.
d. An ability to mix drink after drink after drink in fifteen seconds each, time after time, reasonably close to perfectly. This involves things like being able to hear four or five drink orders at once, figuring out how to lay them out on the bar so you only have to pick up the vodka once, the gin once, the orange juice once, and so forth. Don't go TOO overboard on that kind of thing, though -- you will end up screwing up drinks. Still, if you have a vodka tonic and a Cape Codder ordered at once, put ice in two highball glasses, put them on your work surface side by side, pour the vodka into both glasses without stopping (that is, when you've got 1.5 oz of vodka in the first glass, just move the bottle over to the second glass without turning th bottle upright in between), put the vodka away, open the tonic and the cranberry juice if they're not open, pour both simultaneously, one with each hand, put them down and away, stir both drinks with both hands, put limes in both, and serve. If you use both hands, you can serve faster.
e. A sympathetic face if people want to listen, wit and charm if people want to banter, charisma and likability in general.
f. Knowledge of the laws concerning alcohol consumption in your state, familiarity with IDs and fake IDs, ability to identify people who are already drunk, ability to refuse service without offending anyone
g. Appreciation of alcohol yourself is beneficial, but not strictly necessary. You could imagine a vegetarian cook being able to grill a perfect steak, or a baker with a gluten allergy able to bake a good loaf of wheat bread. But it would be more difficult, because the cook would have to rely on other people for feedback. It could be done, though, and you can become a decent bartender without, yourself, drinking. It's just much EASIER if you can go home and practice your Bloody Mary recipe and taste the results yourself.
h. Ability to pull a good beer from a tap, with an appropriate amount of head, not too much, not too little.
i. Ability to open a bottle of champagne without injuring or spraying anyone. And to pour glasses of champagne.
j. Ability to open a bottle of wine quickly and efficiently. And to pour glasses of wine.
k. Ability to open a bottle of beer without getting shards of glass everywhere. (Hey, I managed to injure myself that way once. . . ) And to pour it.
j. Ability to do basic math in your head to charge for drinks and make change quickly and accurately.
Of all of these skills, the least important is "knowledge of drinks".
The reason to memorize drinks is "speed". But, if you don't know an obscure drink, look it up. Always carry a bartender's black book on the job, and if someone orders something weird, look it up. You don't need to know what's in a Dead Nazi (Jagermeister and Rumpleminz peppermint schnapps, for what it's worth -- it's MILDLY less disgusting than either Jagermeister or Rumpleminz on their own, but is still nasty) if you can look it up. And if there's a run on them, and you have to make twenty of them, you'll remember it after the second or third time you've looked it up. You should know the basics, things you're likely to be asked for, because, a) it saves time, and b) it's really embarrassing if you don't. Still, even the basics, people don't order using the cool drink names. I've probably served five times as many "Vodkas and Cranberry" as "Cape Codders", and for the hundreds (thousands? Naw, MAYBE a thousand, but not thousands) of Rums and Coke I've served, I've served three Cuba Libres. Heck, I've been asked for a "vodka and orange juice". I mean, c'mon, is there any drink whose name is better known than "screwdriver"?
Other things I've noticed: as a bartender, you're treated better than in any other service job. If you've ever worked retail, or waited tables, or worked phone tech support, you'll know that people get incredibly testy when they have to wait, no matter how slammed YOU are. Most people see how long THEY'VE had to wait, and have no sympathy for what YOU'RE going through.
Bartending is the only exception. And that's why I love tending bar. If people are packed five deep around your bar, and it takes fifteen minutes to get a drink, nobody takes it out on you. I mean, I guess if you were standing there talking on your cell phone and NOT working, people might rip you limb from limb (and you'd deserve it), but so long as you're working flat out and doing your best, nobody is really bothered. I don't know why -- maybe it's because they SEE you working so they know you're not slacking, maybe it's just a matter of expectations -- if you see a crowd at the bar, you know it's going to take a while, and, besides, it's a bar, it's like that.
If you pour the wrong drink, and have to remake one, there's a 1/3 chance the NEXT person in line will say, "Oh, what the hell, just give me THAT one you already made," and you won't have to throw it out. And if you do have to throw it out, big deal, you're expected to screw up every once in a while. Just not TOO often.
Heck, if you serve the wrong drink -- not like in a SERIOUS manner, but, like, putting ginger ale instead of Sprite in something, half the time, people won't even NOTICE, or, if they DO notice, won't particularly care. That said, don't serve the wrong drink. You're a professional; act like it.
If you're both serving customers and acting as a service bartender -- serving drinks both directly, and mixing them for the waitstaff to serve at tables -- the waitstaff gets priority. It's not 100%, if there's one guy at the bar, and he's been waiting for five minutes, and there are still more waitstaff waiting for their drinks to be filled, go ahead and help that one guy out before going back to service bartending, but, in general, help out your coworkers.
Similarly, start your shift with setting things up correctly, polishing things, making things look nice. Don't skimp on that. And your shift isn't over until everything's clean and put away. Don't leave extra work for everyone else to do.
If you're working functions, your job involves carrying tables beforehand, putting tablecloths and skirts on them, and setting up glasses. And it involves carrying bags of garbage out to the dumpster afterward. Don't try to weasel out of the gross parts of the job. Unless, like, you're seventy years old and have diabetes and a bad back. If you're a septuagenarian bartender, okay, fine, I'll carry your trash for you if you ask, and won't expect you to carry tables. Not that I'm going to stop you from carrying tables if you go for it -- there are plenty of seventy-year-old bartenders who are in better shape than I am.
Those are a few of the things I've learned so far.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 01:33 pm (UTC)Yes you are
Date: 2006-06-08 01:39 pm (UTC)And keep in mind, you've only been working with him less than a month (25 days?)
I love you!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 01:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 02:08 pm (UTC)It was a while ago, so I can't remember who posted this, but someone on my friends list knows a brewer who is also a recovering alcoholic so he has to do the whole thing by smell.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 02:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 02:28 pm (UTC)Of course, your bartenders aren't tipped, and don't do table service. Also, as I understand it, most drinking is pulled pints with the OCCASIONAL shot, but mixed drinks aren't that much of a thing.
Jerry Thomas invented modern mixology in New York in the mid-ninteenth century. It's an American thing, yes.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 02:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 02:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 02:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:23 pm (UTC)[Then again, I knew Boston first.]
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:40 pm (UTC)And some Americans have a habit of hitting "Happy Hour" right after work, which would be 5:00 or 6:00, depending on where you live and what you do.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-09 01:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:37 pm (UTC)And
That's the exact reason I have issues with the definition of "binge" drinking...you could have that many drinks over the course of a night and not act or feel drunk, but you've officially been binge drinking. I would like to see that definition changed to add number of nights IN A ROW that you've gone out and had that many drinks, b/c I think that would factor into it more. But guess that's just me...
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 02:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 02:30 pm (UTC)What's fun with that is when it's something relatively normal, but they misheard it. . . that leads to interesting results. . .
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 02:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:02 pm (UTC)My hot toddy recipe is French brandy (the cheap stuff), honey, cinnamon, hot water, and garnish with a lemon slice.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:45 pm (UTC)[You can tell the rest of the joke if you want.]
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-09 01:10 am (UTC)A bartender has just gotten her first bartending job. And on her first day, a guy comes in and orders a "Hop-Skip-and-Go Naked", which she's never even HEARD of. But she figures that, with a name like that, it's gotta be some kind of frou-frou weird thing, so she starts just throwing whatever the hell into a shaker, mixes it up, and gives it to him. He says, "What the hell is this? This isn't lemonade and beer with a shot of vodka in it!"
She says, "Oh! You wanted the EAST coast version."
The thing is. . . if you do a Google search on "Hop-Skip-and Go Naked" recipes -- they're all some kind of random frou-frou weird things, and very few of them are shandies with a shot.
A few questions...
Date: 2006-06-08 02:35 pm (UTC)1) do pretty people get served before average-looking folks? (I'm sure this depends on the bartender, but I had to ask! ;-)
2) does the amount a person tips have an influence on how quickly they get served the next time?
3) does holding your cash in your hand get you served any quicker than the person who's not holding their cash in their hand?
These are all things I've heard that have an influence on how quickly one gets served at a crowded bar, but they're all from the customer's perspective, not from a bartender's. So...what's your take on it?
Re: A few questions...
Date: 2006-06-08 02:59 pm (UTC)Re: A few questions...
Date: 2006-06-08 03:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 02:47 pm (UTC)By the way, here's a drink my hubby came up with:
1 shot irish creme, 1 shot banana liqueur, 1 shot butterscotch liqueur
Serve in a tumbler or glass, fill remaining space with milk (whole, 2% or 1%)
I call it an "Irish Monkey."
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 08:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-09 08:05 am (UTC)3 shots creme de banane (the cheap artificial stuff is just fine)
1 shot each Baileys, butterscotch schnapps, Frangelico
a little cream
Shake over ice. Serve in a martini glass with a little cinnamon sprinkled on top, and a plastic cocktail monkey hanging off the side. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 03:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 06:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-08 08:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-09 01:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-09 02:03 am (UTC)I'd never heard the "rum and coconut juice" variation, and my recipe collection doesn't list it. Sounds interesting, though.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-10 09:15 pm (UTC)But I was really impressed with your use of the words 'Wax pedantic'...
people who drink Galleano in screwdrivers need to be shot!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-10 09:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-06-21 04:39 am (UTC)