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xiphiasWe're at my parents' house; my niece and nephew and their parents were over for the weekend for New Year's, and they just left, and Lis is asleep, and I was telling my parents about how Intelligent Design actually all holds together, if you assume that HUMANS aren't the creature that was designed. As I said, "So, all you need is to think of a creature without joints, without teeth, and whose eyes don't grow from their optic nerves, but are intelligent and have the ability to use tools. . . "
And Dad said, "Oh! Octopuses!"
I explained about Cthulhu and the Flying Spaghetti monster are probably therefore just visions of the Great Octopus.
And I explained my further theory about how, according to this theory, the purpose of humans was to be controlled by the Intelligent Designer to create global warming to make large shallow seas over the coastal areas that humans have built up, so that the octopuses could have the benefit of our structures while they created their own society.
And Mom said, "So, the Bush Dynasty is being controlled by Cthulhu in order to destroy humanity?"
And Dad said, "It explains a lot about Cheney -- he always did have that kind of fishy, Innsmouth look to him."
I said, "Yeah. This has actually been keeping me up at nights. . . it all hangs together all too well. If you can come up with ANYTHING that would be an argument against this, anything that will make me feel better about this, I'd love to hear it."
Mom and Dad were quiet and thinking for a while. And Mom said, "Well, they'll probably need a small slave population of humans to work the dry-land areas for a while. . . ."
(Other comments: "Well, if the Greenland ice caps go, the sea levels will go up about fifty feet. Once the octopuses get MIT, it's all over. On the other hand, they'll also get Logan Airport, which should slow them down some. . . 'I dunno, man, I went to this place near the shore, and I was stuck there for six freakin' hours. . . '")
And Dad said, "Oh! Octopuses!"
I explained about Cthulhu and the Flying Spaghetti monster are probably therefore just visions of the Great Octopus.
And I explained my further theory about how, according to this theory, the purpose of humans was to be controlled by the Intelligent Designer to create global warming to make large shallow seas over the coastal areas that humans have built up, so that the octopuses could have the benefit of our structures while they created their own society.
And Mom said, "So, the Bush Dynasty is being controlled by Cthulhu in order to destroy humanity?"
And Dad said, "It explains a lot about Cheney -- he always did have that kind of fishy, Innsmouth look to him."
I said, "Yeah. This has actually been keeping me up at nights. . . it all hangs together all too well. If you can come up with ANYTHING that would be an argument against this, anything that will make me feel better about this, I'd love to hear it."
Mom and Dad were quiet and thinking for a while. And Mom said, "Well, they'll probably need a small slave population of humans to work the dry-land areas for a while. . . ."
(Other comments: "Well, if the Greenland ice caps go, the sea levels will go up about fifty feet. Once the octopuses get MIT, it's all over. On the other hand, they'll also get Logan Airport, which should slow them down some. . . 'I dunno, man, I went to this place near the shore, and I was stuck there for six freakin' hours. . . '")
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 07:19 pm (UTC)And Mom said, "Well, they'll probably need a small slave population of humans to work the dry-land areas for a while. . . ."
HA ha...Mom rocks.
And well, you'd think that Methuen, Tewksbury, and Billerica would be enough to slow the octopodes. >_>.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-05 07:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 07:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 08:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 08:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 01:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 08:17 pm (UTC)*applause*
You are so onto something here!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 08:32 pm (UTC)<octopus> Who's stupid idea was it to call this thing Fast Lane, anyway? And why can't any of these bipeds just PICK A FREAKING LANE ALREADY!?!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 02:18 am (UTC)"WHY did these stupid vertebrates invent cars? They don't seem to get the concept of ACTUALLY MOVING IN THEM. DEAR GOD, I could have mated and had grandsquids just in the time it took me to get past that TOLL BOOTH!!!
Fast Lane my ink organs"
(no subject)
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Date: 2006-01-01 08:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 10:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-01 11:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 12:37 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 05:12 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 12:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 01:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 01:25 am (UTC)I was telling my parents about how Intelligent Design actually all holds together, if you assume that HUMANS aren't the creature that was designed.
And I knew it was you before I saw your name.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 02:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:FYI
Date: 2006-01-02 02:43 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 05:10 am (UTC)*snerk*
So very, sadly true . . .
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 07:40 am (UTC)You for the win!
Is it okay if I link to it?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-02 02:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-03 03:37 am (UTC)(Here from metaquotes)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-03 07:29 pm (UTC)Linked over from Metaquots. :)
I love your parents!
And, as other friends said, it makes an odd sort of sense. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-03 10:36 pm (UTC)Your parents rule.
But now I'm terrified. This makes far too much sense.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-04 03:49 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-04 04:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-04 09:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:*Ahem*
Date: 2006-01-04 04:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-04 04:40 pm (UTC)clever
Date: 2006-01-04 05:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-04 05:52 pm (UTC)LiveJournal entry.
Ever!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-04 06:13 pm (UTC)Unfortunately, I can think of no arguments to refute yours. This is unusual, so I will have to think more on it, and possibly get back to you.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-04 06:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-04 07:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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