A disturbing thought about "intelligent design"

[xiphias]

So, late at night when the Midnight Creepiness was keeping me awake in my bed, as it sometimes does, I started thinking about "Intelligent Design".

Now, as most of you are aware, one of the really strong arguments against the idea that some "intelligence" of some sort set out to "design" people is that, well, people are really stupidly designed.

But then it struck me.

What if we're not the point? What if the reason that we can choke, have blind spots, have crappy knees and so forth, is that we're SUPPOSED to be disposable? What if the whole purpose of humanity is to break up the surface of the world, and then cause global warming to cause great, warm, shallow seas to cover large swaths of the world, so that the creature that the "Intelligent Designer" ACTUALLY designed can take over?

You know, the one with eyes WITHOUT blind spots, because they're outgrowths of the skin, instead of the optic nerve? The one that can't choke, because it has gills? Has no joint problems because it has no joints?

Now, the only reason why octopuses HAVEN'T developed actual sapience, I think, is because of their 1) darn short lifespans and 2) dying after breeding. But if an octopus developed that actually stayed ALIVE after breeding, and then actually RAISED its offspring, well, THAT would be a creature an intelligent Intelligent Designer could be proud of designing.

And what if that's actually what is going to happen? What if that Intelligent Designer, an octopod creature, is sleeping RIGHT NOW under the sea, influencing the dreams of mankind to help us destroy ourselves and create the world for Its children?

Ia, Ia, Cthulhu fthagan!

Comments

[cheshyre]

On the seventh day, Gd rested and watched what humanity wrought.
And on the eighth day (one for each limb), the octopi would reign.

[blairette.livejournal.com]

mmm... limbs...

[blairette.livejournal.com]

BEheheheheh

(lamb-to-the-slaughter laugh)

[rebmommy.livejournal.com]

yeah - but can they play a guitar?

[navrins]

Aha! It's the *Swimming* Spaghetti Monster!

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

It all fits together. This explains the whole Lack of Pirates/Global Warming connection that is such an important part of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism!

[ckd]

That's the real reason the first Tacoma Narrows Bridge fell down; it was to provide octopus habitat. (Divers in the area regularly see very large octopodes.)

[kyra-ojosverdes.livejournal.com]

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sigsegv/40492213/

[(Anonymous)]

That's beeeee-you-tiful!

[zachkessin.livejournal.com]

Ah the fighting Cepholopods.

GO PODS!

[jehanna.livejournal.com]

BWAhahahaha....

That makes way, way too much sense. Although that could be because I am also awake in the middle of the night. :)

[temima.livejournal.com]

You know, I was actually thinking "So humanity was really a Deep Ones project?"

Octopi

[ailbhe]

Hurrah!

[mabfan.livejournal.com]

You do realize that there's a story in this?

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Hey, you're the professional -- feel free.

[mattblum.livejournal.com]

Right now, I'll bet that Intelligent Designer is thinking to Itself "Dammit, the talking hairy air-breathers have figured out my Master Plan! Time to implement Phase 2. First, we kill all the sharks..."

[cowgurrl.livejournal.com]

I've always wondered why we have eyelashes so close to our eyes (eyelash in the eye, can you say ow-shit-i-cant-see-gonna-drive-off-the-road!) and teeth so close to our cheeks/tongue... I really hate when I bite my tongue...

Now I know it's just another way for the octopi to gain control :P

Although, a la inspirational, I read a quote last night that said something along the lines of Gd designed us so we could neither pat ourselves on the back nor kick ourselves too easily... just a thought...

Heh.

[unixronin.livejournal.com]

I got to about one or two sentences from the end of that, and thought, "Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!"

Then I read the last two sentences. :)

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn...

[pogodragon.livejournal.com]

Now it all finally makes sense.

[necturus.livejournal.com]

And the cephalopods shall inherit the earth...

[(Anonymous)]

Ah - I knew someday someone would get around to this! Its all Ray Harryhausen's fault, you know. He pissed those octopi off by cheaping out on the tentacles when making It Came From Beneath The Sea (http://www.badmovieplanet.com/3btheater/i/itcamebeneathsea.html). There weren’t enough, you see. And after all that, Vanderhume was still dead. It’s a tragedy.

(Very Funny Post!)

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