What I would say to my ten-year-old, or twelve-year-old, or sixteen-year-old self.

[xiphias]

"Hi. I'm you're thirty-one year old self. You're going to screw up a lot in life, and also do a lot of good things. You already know everything that you SHOULD do, and you're not going to do most of it, because you're clinically depressed. And you're already being treated for clinical depression as well as you can be. So, frankly, you're fucked until medical science advances. Which it will. Oh yeah, we swear a lot more now that we used to when we were your age.

"The things you can do now are to get a lot more exercise and try to make sure to get plenty of sunlight. I know you know that you should do these things -- Mom keeps telling you that. Well, she's right. And you won't listen to me any more than you listen to her. So there's really no point in me telling you. But I am, anyway. You know all this. You should probably actually do your homework. You should probably actually get involved in drama club, or other clubs. You should probably do SOMETHING other than just sit in your room doing nothing at all, but you don't, because you're clinically depressed. If that magically went away, I could give you all sorts of suggestions of neat things to do, but they're exactly the same suggestions that you already give to yourself and can't follow because you're depressed. You know how you're always down on yourself for not being able to follow through because you've got no willpower, and that's a moral failing? That's not a lack of willpower, that's clinical depression. However, you tend to be slightly more productive, if even more unhappy, when you decide to treat it as a moral failing instead of a medical condition. So I've got no good advice for you.


"Okay, fine. Here's a list of Kentucky Derby winners:

Year	Winner	Time	Jockey	Trainer	Place	Show
(F) indicates filly
1985	Spend A Buck	2:00 1/5	Angel Cordero Jr.	Cam Gambolati	Stephan's Odyssey	Chief's Crown
1986	Ferdinand	2:02 4/5	Bill Shoemaker	Chas. Whittingham	Bold Arrangement	Broad Brush
1987	Alysheba	2:03 2/5	Chris McCarron	Jack Van Berg	Bet Twice	Avies Copy
1988	Winning Colors (F)	2:02 1/5	Gary Stevens	D. Wayne Lukas	Forty Niner	Risen Star
1989	Sunday Silence	2:05	Pat Valenzuela	Chas. Whittingham	Easy Goer	Awe Inspiring
1990	Unbridled	2:02	Craig Perret	Carl Nafzger	Summer Squall	Pleasant Tap
1991	Strike The Gold	2:03	Chris Antley	Nick Zito	Best Pal	Mane Minister
1992	Lil E. Tee	2:03	Pat Day	Lynn Whiting	Casual Lies	Dance Floor
1993	Sea Hero	2:02 2/5	Jerry Bailey	Mack Miller	Prairie Bayou	Wild Gale
1994	Go For Gin	2:03 3/5	Chris McCarron	Nick Zito	Strodes Creek	Blumin Affair
1995	Thunder Gulch	2:01 1/5	Gary Stevens	D. Wayne Lukas	Tejano Run	Timber Country
1996	Grindstone	2:01	Jerry Bailey	D. Wayne Lukas	Cavonnier	Prince of Thieves
1997	Silver Charm	2:02 2/5	Gary Stevens	Bob Baffert	Captain Bodgit	Free House
1998	Real Quiet	2:02 1/5	Kent Desormeaux	Bob Baffert	Victory Gallop	Indian Charlie
1999	Charismatic	2:03 1/5	Chris Antley	D. Wayne Lukas	Menifee	Cat Thief
2000	Fusaichi Pegasus	2:01 1/5	Kent Desormeaux	Neil Drysdale	Aptitude	Impeachment
2001	Monarchos	1:59 4/5	Jorge Chavez	John Ward	Invisible Ink	Congaree
2002	War Emblem	2:01.13	Victor Espinoza	Bob Baffert	Proud Citizen	Perfect Drift
2003	Funny Cide	2:01.19	Jose Santos	Barclay Tagg	Empire Maker	Peace Rules
2004	Smarty Jones	2:04.06	Stewart Elliott	John Servis	Lion Heart	Imperialism
2005	Giacomo	2:02.75	Mike Smith	John Shirreffs	Closing Argument	Afleet Alex