Hi, Mom!

[xiphias]

My mother just made herself an LJ account -- rebmommy. So, now I need to figure out: do I friend her or not? 'Cause pretty much the only reason I ever friends-lock things is so that Mom and Dad won't see them. I mean, I don't particularly mind if they see the stuff that I've friends-locked or not, but I figure that THEY might not want to know all the sordid details of my life.

Any thoughts? Including from you, Mom.

Comments

[wargoddess.livejournal.com]

friend her, but put her on a seperate list. That way you can still lock her out of stuff using the custom feature.

>^,^< .

[angeyja.livejournal.com]

My approach was a little different. I sent the journal address to all of my immediate family right off.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Oh, all my family knows my journal name. Which is why 95+% of the stuff I write isn't friends-locked -- so that my family can read it. But that other 5% is mainly friends locked specifically so that they WON'T run into it. I'm not HIDING it from them, particularly -- which is why, if Mom says she WANTS to be able to see it, I won't much mind.

[angeyja.livejournal.com]

My apologies. I am writing in too many places at once. Doing frosting instead of cake comments.

My much younger sister had an account before I did. I sent it to the rest of the sibs and the parents so that I would remember when I wrote. I have a very awkward relationship with mine but I am actively working with that at the moment and so it was a piece of that. That's a personal note, very much not any kind of a piece of advice.

You can always do so and filter. I really wish my family would get more into Lj or even email, save me having to get on the phone with everyone every week which I am horrible at.

[mattblum.livejournal.com]

I agree with wargoddess. Friend her, then make a custom list containing everyone on your friends list but her, so if you want her not to read something, you still can.

[mattblum.livejournal.com]

Wow, I must be tired. I usually use better English than that. Obviously, that should be "...you still can hide it from her."

[beardedone.livejournal.com]

You are tired. I agree with you completely, in both that you are tired, and as to the custom list.

[cafemusique.livejournal.com]

And that way, she'll show up on your friends page, so you wont have an extra page to have to check.

Woot!

[tendyl.livejournal.com]

Mum M on LJ! I think this is cool. And I have no clue beyond maybe adding her and then creating a filter.

[jmhm.livejournal.com]

Hello, Xiphias' mom. Wave wave.

You can always have a restricted flist for posts you don't want some readers to see.

I mean, if you want to do that.

Lucky me. My mom says (and I quote) "I looked at it, but she writes the way she talks and I figured I could just talk to her"

Which I suppose, hypothetically, is possible.

[noddpot.livejournal.com]

Mothers can be so darned cool at times..
My mum can only play solitare on the computer.

[cellio]

Hey, if your mom uses the computer at all she's ahead of mine. :-)

[noddpot.livejournal.com]

Haha.

You should see my dad type.. he used his middle finger.. verrrrrrrry slowly.

[angelovernh.livejournal.com]

I may have to deal with this issue soon. I've mentioned my LJ to my mother a few times and I know she is curious.

I would have to be much more careful what I post, I think. I might make a separate filter for "No Mom" or something.. Or really if it's ok for her to see, it might be a public post. I don't know really. I wish I felt my mother would be OK knowing all about me, but I am not sure she is that Unconditionally Loving as I would like to believe.

I don't think you'd have quite the same issues as I would, though.. What does she want?

To Friend or Not To Friend

[(Anonymous)]

Ask yourself this question: Knowing that my mother might read the kinds of posts I now friend-lock, would I begin to self-censor more than I do now? If the answer is "yes", don't friend your mom. If the answer is "no", move on to the second question: Would Lis be uncomfortable knowing that my mother might read some of the stuff about her or our relationship which I now friend-lock? If "yes", don't friend your mom. If "no", ask your mother straight out whether she wants to be friended or not. (You've sort of done that last with today's post.) - Felis Sidus

Re: To Friend or Not To Friend

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Of course, if you make an account, I can friend you, too . . .

Gramatically incorrect response

[hfcougar.livejournal.com]

Hmm.

I just went through the process of going through every individual entry in my journal and re-evaluating the lock level for just that reason - not a family member, but a friend/ex who asked if they could read my journal and after a lengthy period of time of deliberating I decided I don't mind. There were only about ten or so entries I ended up having to upgrade from friends-only to custom, but it was a good excuse to go back and skim all my old entries.

It was highly tedious, but in the end I think it'll be worth it. Of course I only have ~350 entries in existence; more might be prohibitive.