The theories on Who Did It, because it's time for wild speculation before the facts are in!

Once we know things, we can't just spout off ignorantly. So if I want to spout ignorant opinions, I need to do it now, before I learn things.

I'll LJ cut it, though, just so nobody has to see it who doesn't want to.
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My brisket recipe, so I've got it saved before I forget how I did it.

Preheat oven to 325 F. (162 C, Gas Mark 3).

Take a big deep pan that can be used on the stove or in the oven. Mine's, like, a foot across and four inches deep, straight-sided. Brown the brisket on both sides, maybe five minutes on a side or so. While doing this, chop up a couple onions.

Pull the brisket out and set it aside. Grind a bunch of black pepper on it, just for the heck of it. Maybe a small bit of salt, but, because I use kosher meat which is already salted, probably not.

Pour a sploosh of olive oil in the pan, and cook the onions, using the oil to deglaze the pan, so that you end up with onions that have been cooked in oil and meat. Crush a couple cloves of garlic in there, then add the leftover chicken soup which you made before which is, itself, SO rich with chicken-gelatin that it has set up like Jello in the fridge -- you can literally pick it up and cut pieces of chicken soup. Add a bunch of -- not kidding here, I mean it -- Manischewitz.

Cover it, put it in the oven for, like, three hours, maybe three and a half. Flip it over a couple times -- the last time you try to flip it, you should totally have to give up, because it's falling apart.

Remove it to a plate, and let it sit until Lis comes home from work -- a bunch of hours. Because brisket is better after it sits for a while.

Slice it up -- remember, slice AGAINST the grain, you want it to be falling apart in your mouth into short little pieces. Plate it (serving dish or individual, whatever), scoop out the chopped onions in the sauce, and plate them alongside the brisket slices.

Cook down the rest of the stock. Optionally, thicken it with cornstarch if you want gravy rather than jus (put cornstarch in a separate dish, scoop some hot stock into it, mix it into a smooth liquid, pour back into the larger thing, and cook down).

Serve over the brisket.

This "gravy" step is completely optional, by the way.