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Random things.
Jun. 2nd, 2004 11:04 pmCan anyone imagine an actor who would make a WORSE John Constantine than Keanu Reeves? No, I'm not kidding -- they're making a Hellblazer movie with Keanu as Constantine.
Lis suggested the Olsen Twins, but they would have the hair right. I suggested Gary Coleman, but then Lis said, "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Satan?" which we decided was more in character for Constantine than Keanu will be.
I mean, I've really been wracking my brain for a worse actor than the one they've chosen. I've considered, and rejected as probably better than Keanu, Ashton Kushner, Vin Diesel, Judi Dench, Vincent Schiavelli, Paris Hilton, Ron Jeremy, and Morris the Cat.
Since I've been trying to teach myself contact juggling, I looked up the James Ernest Contact Juggling book. It's available from Cheapass Games for $15. But abebooks.com lists several used copies. With prices starting as low as $18 plus shipping.
And going up to -- I kid you not -- $500.
$500. For a book that is still available for $15.
I made bread today. It was okay. I used the bread machine. I need more practice. It was a basic white loaf, the kind that goes stale after 24 hours, so I made croutons out of what was left this evening, and made caesar's salad. It wasn't my best ever: I didn't dry the Romaine well enough after washing, so the dressing got diluted and didn't stick to the leaves worth a darn.
On that family vacation where we went to San Francisco for Iran's wedding, at one point, we were all in the car, and I was explaining to my sister the whole question about which the funniest animal in the world was -- the duck or the platypus. She said that it HAD to be the platypus, because it has venomous barbs in its feet, and venom that can kill or paralyze an adult human is just plain comedy gold all by itself. Then she told us the following joke: "A duck walks into a pharmacist. No, wait, I told it wrong."
So I said that we had to do a head-to-head duck-vs-platypus comedy test.
Ian: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
Leila: Why?
Ian: To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet?
Leila: Why?
Ian: To stamp out burning ducks. Okay, now let's try the platypus and compare the comedy. Why do platypods have webbed feet?
Leila: Why?
Ian: To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet?
Leila: To stamp out burning ducks.
Lis suggested the Olsen Twins, but they would have the hair right. I suggested Gary Coleman, but then Lis said, "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Satan?" which we decided was more in character for Constantine than Keanu will be.
I mean, I've really been wracking my brain for a worse actor than the one they've chosen. I've considered, and rejected as probably better than Keanu, Ashton Kushner, Vin Diesel, Judi Dench, Vincent Schiavelli, Paris Hilton, Ron Jeremy, and Morris the Cat.
Since I've been trying to teach myself contact juggling, I looked up the James Ernest Contact Juggling book. It's available from Cheapass Games for $15. But abebooks.com lists several used copies. With prices starting as low as $18 plus shipping.
And going up to -- I kid you not -- $500.
$500. For a book that is still available for $15.
I made bread today. It was okay. I used the bread machine. I need more practice. It was a basic white loaf, the kind that goes stale after 24 hours, so I made croutons out of what was left this evening, and made caesar's salad. It wasn't my best ever: I didn't dry the Romaine well enough after washing, so the dressing got diluted and didn't stick to the leaves worth a darn.
On that family vacation where we went to San Francisco for Iran's wedding, at one point, we were all in the car, and I was explaining to my sister the whole question about which the funniest animal in the world was -- the duck or the platypus. She said that it HAD to be the platypus, because it has venomous barbs in its feet, and venom that can kill or paralyze an adult human is just plain comedy gold all by itself. Then she told us the following joke: "A duck walks into a pharmacist. No, wait, I told it wrong."
So I said that we had to do a head-to-head duck-vs-platypus comedy test.
Ian: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
Leila: Why?
Ian: To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet?
Leila: Why?
Ian: To stamp out burning ducks. Okay, now let's try the platypus and compare the comedy. Why do platypods have webbed feet?
Leila: Why?
Ian: To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet?
Leila: To stamp out burning ducks.