Hmm. Maybe their research isn't quite as good as all that.

[xiphias]

So, the Republican National Committe gave us a Platinum donor card for our lifelong support of the party, and sent it with a postage-paid envelope for us to send back a donation.

So I wrote them a note. On the back of an unemployment check envelope.

To whom it may concern:

My wife and I have both been unemployed or underemployed since Bush stole the White House with thuggish and vicious intimidation of voters. We watched with horror as he gutted the programs protecting us from terrorists and blame him for 9/11. We abhor his bigoted anti-gay policies, think he's a wishy-washy waffler on stem-cell research, have noticed his utter contempt for scientific research, the environment, and the public good in general, and believe that he is evil and going to hell.

He also looks like a chimpanzee, and is a draft-dodging, drug-addicted, alcoholic, AWOL coward, who cheats at rugby, never succeeded at anything in his life that wasn't given to him, and has yet to utter a grammatical sentence that wasn't written for him, and even then it's iffy.

Anyway, thank you for your membership in your Platinum club, and we will be using this to get access to candidates.

Here's hoping you lose in November by such a large margin that your Diebold cheating can't steal the election -- again.

Sincerely,

Ian Osmond

PS: And the economy is your fault, too.

Comments

[lietya.livejournal.com]

That is gorgeous.

We recently received a survey from the Republicans, filled with lovely questions such as "do you support President Bush's actions to make America safer?" We took a fair amount of glee in filling it out with commentary ("What actions would those be? Starting a war on an abstraction and lying to justify going to war to depose the leader of a sovereign nation?") and sending it in, although I'm sure they'll throw it away.

[loveanddarkness.livejournal.com]

(1) Love your kittycat icon

and

(2) I've always been very tempted to take one of those surveys, open it using latex gloves, removing any identification as coming from me, blow my nose on it and mail it back to them in a plain white envelope.

That would be such an uncouth thing to do I'd be ashamed of myself. On the other hand, it would be a great expression of my opinion of them.

[azurelunatic]

I routinely waste the prepaid postage of snailspammers by dumping a small assload of dollar-store glitter in their No Postage Necessary When Mailed In The States envelopes and sending them off.

(via metaquotes)

[lietya.livejournal.com]

the kittycat says thanks. :)

It *is* tempting to do something distinctly uncouth. I'll admit, we were tempted to at least put some extra junk mail in the envelope (I wish I'd thought of the above-mentioned glitter!), but we decided to play it straight on the off chance that they'd actually read the results.

The weird thing is that there's only a registered Democrat and a Green in this household. They're rather "carpet-bombing" with these solicitations - and no wonder, for solicitations they are, with the price of "membership" at the bottom. In fact, you have to pay them $5 before they'll tabulate your survey!

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

Hey! My hubby got one of those addressed to him. He knows it gives me great pleasure to fill in the answers. I believe they asked something along the lines of "Will you give money to support electing more Republicans?" my reply was something like, "When you nominate one (instead of an idiot Christian extremist pretending to be a Republican), I'll be happy to donate. Until then, I'll be voting elsewhere."

[drewbeartx.livejournal.com]

I just *love* questions like that! They're following proudly in the footsteps of their predecessors: "So Senator, when did you stop beating your wife?" and "Honey, do these jeans make my ass look fat?"

[lietya.livejournal.com]

That is *exactly* what I said - "this is a collection of 'when did you stop beating your wife' questions." Things like, do we support his efforts to make teachers more accountable, do we prefer that America's military be well-treated, etc. Every question presumed that he'd done something *useful,* and merely asked if we agreed with it. So a lot of our answers (we filled it out together) were write-ins to the effect of "yes, I support efforts to protect helpless kittens from torture, but I don't believe that Bush's actions qualify as such."

To be fair, the Democrats sent us something horribly similar in terms of logic-chopping (and we didn't send them money, either). I do so hate seeing them stoop to the same tactics.