Hmm. Maybe their research isn't quite as good as all that.

[xiphias]

So, the Republican National Committe gave us a Platinum donor card for our lifelong support of the party, and sent it with a postage-paid envelope for us to send back a donation.

So I wrote them a note. On the back of an unemployment check envelope.

To whom it may concern:

My wife and I have both been unemployed or underemployed since Bush stole the White House with thuggish and vicious intimidation of voters. We watched with horror as he gutted the programs protecting us from terrorists and blame him for 9/11. We abhor his bigoted anti-gay policies, think he's a wishy-washy waffler on stem-cell research, have noticed his utter contempt for scientific research, the environment, and the public good in general, and believe that he is evil and going to hell.

He also looks like a chimpanzee, and is a draft-dodging, drug-addicted, alcoholic, AWOL coward, who cheats at rugby, never succeeded at anything in his life that wasn't given to him, and has yet to utter a grammatical sentence that wasn't written for him, and even then it's iffy.

Anyway, thank you for your membership in your Platinum club, and we will be using this to get access to candidates.

Here's hoping you lose in November by such a large margin that your Diebold cheating can't steal the election -- again.

Sincerely,

Ian Osmond

PS: And the economy is your fault, too.

Comments

[psu-jedi.livejournal.com]

Bloody brilliant!

I love it!

We got some Republican propaganda stuff, addressed to the former occupants. I crossed out the addy, wrote "no longer at this address, return to sender" on the front. And on the back I wrote "Kerry ROCKS!"

Immature, I know. But frankly, I don't care!

[harpsiccord.livejournal.com]

*Giggles* I hope some right wing nutter's blood pressure goes up 11 points when he sees that!

KERRY IN A LANDSLIDE!

[kightp.livejournal.com]

Man, if you weren't already married, I'd be *this* close to proposing.

Great letter.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

Some people actually share. ;)

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

Rock on.

[adrian-turtle.livejournal.com]

Dear Mr. Osmond,

Thank you for your support, and thank you for voting Republican in November.

[mswae.livejournal.com]

Whaddya bet you make the Un-American Terrorist-Loving Watch List for this one?

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I kind of wish I'd phrased the "get access to candidates" bit differently.

[lietya.livejournal.com]

That is gorgeous.

We recently received a survey from the Republicans, filled with lovely questions such as "do you support President Bush's actions to make America safer?" We took a fair amount of glee in filling it out with commentary ("What actions would those be? Starting a war on an abstraction and lying to justify going to war to depose the leader of a sovereign nation?") and sending it in, although I'm sure they'll throw it away.

[loveanddarkness.livejournal.com]

(1) Love your kittycat icon

and

(2) I've always been very tempted to take one of those surveys, open it using latex gloves, removing any identification as coming from me, blow my nose on it and mail it back to them in a plain white envelope.

That would be such an uncouth thing to do I'd be ashamed of myself. On the other hand, it would be a great expression of my opinion of them.

[unquietsoul5.livejournal.com]

In the old days one could have attached it to a package containing a brick and mailed it back, so they got to pay the postage, including a "Here's my contribution to help rebuild Iraq" to go along with it.... but the new Mail weight regulations etc prevent such mischievious actions.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

I thought of stuffing the rest of our daily junk mail into the envelope, but decided that it would look too much like a letterbomb. And I don't actually want to scare the poor folks working in the mailroom.

[griffinick.livejournal.com]

I love it!!!

In a way it's a shame that Bush himself won't be reading it, but then again, you used some pretty big words so he probably wouldn't understand it unless one of his goons translated it into "Dubya" for him.

[faireraven.livejournal.com]

Honey, have I ever told you how much I adore you? :)

[mathwhiz78.livejournal.com]

the chimp thing is funny. cuz it's true!!

[sabra-n.livejournal.com]

OT, but your icon rocks. :)

-blue

[hodyesod.livejournal.com]

OMG that's priceless. This makes my day :)

[rmjwell.livejournal.com]

Have you considered sending a copy of this to Air America radio?

[griffen.livejournal.com]

You. So. ROCK.

[mattblum.livejournal.com]

It's really astonishing the screw-ups that can happen when computers are involved, isn't it?

I love your letter, though I agree the line about "access to candidates" may not have been phrased wisely. And, to be fair, I've never seen any evidence that Bush cheated at rugby.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

And, to be fair, I've never seen any evidence that Bush cheated at rugby.

[msmidge.livejournal.com]

Why, Ian, you are rather awesome. :)

[undauntra.livejournal.com]

Gratifying, but you're more likely to inflence them towards actual change if you make it sound like you're a swing voter who just might be persuaded if only they did X.

[the-editor.livejournal.com]

Bush's enemies list is long...
Nice job!

Bush can't read....

I especially like the Diebold comment...

good job...

[ex-serenejo.livejournal.com]

I think I'm in lurve! :-)

[temima.livejournal.com]

Congrats, you are my first post to metaquotes.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

I am swooning with love for you. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

[loveanddarkness.livejournal.com]

If you didn't refer to yourself as being married, I'd have to make mad passionate love to you.

As it is, tell your wife she's a lucky chick married to a funny, smart, ballsy guy.

PS: found you through metaquotes

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

<-- polyamorous, but, well, you're in Texas. Ah, well. It probably wouldn't have worked out anyway.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I adore you.

[loveanddarkness.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I forgot to say: if they respond, I want to see what they say.

I doubt they will, but one can hope.

[megsjedi.livejournal.com]

That icon is AWESOME!

[megsjedi.livejournal.com]

WICKED! ^__^

My last email for "Support Our Party" (re: Republicans), I responded to with two words:

"Fuck you."

Power to the Anti-Dictator People!

[loveanddarkness.livejournal.com]

Fuck yeah!

[adjectivegirl.livejournal.com]

came from metaquotes and am now in complete and utter admiration of you. I'd love for them to think I'm a loyal sheep, but I fear I have been too talky in the opposite.

Keep the faith, I love that you mentioned the rugby thing.

[memnet.livejournal.com]

Followed the link to your journal from metaquotes...all I can say is...Bravo!!!!