The fact is, I know perfectly well what my dream job would be.

[xiphias]

Bartender at Callahan's.

I've known that for a while. Probably since the first time I read the stories.

But a thought just popped into my head -- a very strange one for me. It said: "So, your dream job is bartender at Callahan's Bar. How do we go about making this happen?"

Any ideas, people? How do I go about becoming a bartender at Callahan's Bar? Obviously, the first thing I need to do is build or find the bar.

The bar costs $110,000, and is near the Malden/Everett line. Or, at least, a bar that's for sale is there. It's only actually being shown to people who are serious contenders to purchase. And they want half down, and the guy I was talking to suggested that I really wanted to have maybe another $25k ready money for incidental startup expenses. So that's $80 thousand dollars to even be in consideration.

Is that the way to go? Or is there another route I'm not seeing?

Comments

[trcabbage.livejournal.com]

YIKES!!!

FIRST, you need to get bar worker friends.
You need to work in a bar in that area
You need to KNOW names, faces, smiles, reputations, needs and desires.
You have to know what a slow comfortable screw up against the wall or a light house is.

You need to be able to seduce great workers who have fans to you location.

You need either shit loads of money or great savy to get away with what your thinking about doing!


But that's just my *opinion*....

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

I've seen what hangs out in bars in Malden and Everett. Trust me, the giant purple snorklewackers that hang out in Callahan's and make bad puns are probably a lot less scary.

[angelovernh.livejournal.com]

the stories? links please?

[maedbh7.livejournal.com]

Yeah, what Tobie said. Do you know how to tend bar? Or do you intend your bar to only serve coffee and beer? Do you know a good beer from a bad one? Do you know good coffee from bad? If I order a grasshopper, can you make me one I'll orgasm from while drinking it?

But it isn't all about the drinks, is it? It's about the Listening. It's about being the guy behind the counter who listens to everybody's sad story and tells them the one straight line or asks them the one quintessential question that pulls them out of their funk and gets them thinking and feeling again. Can you do that?

Because that's what tending bar teaches you. That's what bars these days lack. That's why neighborhood bars with good bartenders are known to only a very select few.

IMO, Callahans isn't a bar and it isn't a place; it's an ideal. Callahans could be a coffeehouse or a cafe or bookstore for all of that. So long as the seriously broken can walk in the door, find like-minded people and a proprieter with a sharp ear and a loving heart, and find surcease from sorrow, then you will have built Callahans.

And I'll stop in and have one, toss a glass into your fireplace, once you do :) -H..

[sinboy.livejournal.com]

You build one? Or talk a bank into giving you the money to build one?
The $25k in startup expenses sounds about right to me.

[vonbeck.livejournal.com]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0812539370/qid=1062065097/sr=2-2/ref=sr_2_2/103-8913102-4319053

[cheshyre]

Yes, Ian is trained to tend bar. Yes, Ian is an excellent listener.

I'll confess, I'm a little disappointed in the responses so far. Ian finally has come up with a goal of something he actually wants to do (which is, in itself an accomplishment). Yes, it's rather fantastical, but it's something.

And rather than helping him find ways of achieving a plausible approximation of that dream, all I'm seeing are people shooting it down.

Psychology and counseling are out, because they require a college degree which Ian doesn't have, and probably because actually specifically being paid to counsel somebody may be too much pressure. I suspect Ian would find general bartending less interesting because one doesn't build up the kind of relationships at a more regular neighborhood hangout.

Trust me, Ian doesn't need anybody else's help in destroying his dreams. He does that well enough on his own. That's not why I asked Ian to post about it when he was able to verbalize it. We're floating a trial balloon here; instead of taking potshots, I hoped readers could think of other steps to achieving it or something else that will meet those needs and use those talents that we're not thinking of.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

I do know a good beer from bad, good coffee from bad, and, yes, I can make a grasshopper that good -- light creme de cacao, dark creme de menthe, and cream, shake with ice, strain into martini glass. But I find that whole milk generates a better, lighter drink than cream. And, if you swap the colors of creme de cacao and the creme de menthe (dark cacao and light menthe), you've got a Girl Scout Cookie!

Ask me another one!

And, yes, I can do the listening thing. That's, very simply, The Thing I Do. That's my gift. That's the thing I'm known for, and the thing that I've never been able to figure out how to make money off of.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

Damn, why couldn't I have been born fabulously rich? I wish I could just hand you 100K and say "go make the world a better place". :) This is a fabulous idea, and I think you'd rock at it (I giggled when I saw someone wonder above if you're a good listener. You're the man who taught me what listening *is*). I just wish I knew how to get you the money, or a cheaper alternative.

I think the idea is awesome, though, fwiw. :)

A.
thinking of you

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

i think it's a great idea. and i think you already look like a bartender -- like an 19th century bartender, especially with your chops :) and i can tell from the few times we've met you are a good listener, and you tell some great stories.

i can totally see it.

i don't have good options for raising the money, but i'm happy to offer my services in layout/decoration-on-the-cheap to make your place look awasome, and feel comfortable. that's my gift :)

n.

[undauntra.livejournal.com]

You are aware that tending bar is the one field which Ian has professional training in, right? He even knows how to do flair bartending. (The stuff that involves juggling the glasses.)

And I don't know what other staff are required for a bar, but he has multiple friends/family who have worked as bouncers.

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

What a wonderful idea! Go for it, if the element of financial risk is acceptable to both of you. That's a call only the two of you can make.

[trcabbage.livejournal.com]

Nope, I sure didn't! I thought he was thinking about heading in to this blind...After reading what some other folks AND him, had to say, why I think it's a *wonderful* idea!

[nellorat.livejournal.com]

For a while, my opinion has been that people in sf fandom tend to leap too easily to the idea of starting their own businesses, without first thoroughly looking for established businesses that might offer them what they want. This may seem ironic coming from me, but I know precisely how tough it is to get a clientele from scratch, and how much easier to join an organization that already has a clientele, if you can find a good one.

So my advice is for you to go for the bartending gig, but before putting so much money at stake, see if you can find a relatively nice place to work in an already established bar, at least at first. With your listening skills, the tips should be very good, and you can build up a lot of practical ideas of how you do and don't want to set up your own place. (Learning from the mistakes and successes of others is always less costly than learning when your own business is at stake.)

I am NOT discouraging you from your dream. If anything, when I read "bartender," I thought--yeah! That's great! And then reading comments about your skills--wow, you're perfect for it. But it doesn't have to be your own bar right away--you can work towards it, while having a good job, just not your dream, yet.

In fact, to put my money (almost literally) where my keyboard is, if you want help in massaging a bartender resume, e-mail me via womzilla or supergee. That's one of the things I get paid for, but I'd love to help you with your resume pro bono.

[cheshyre]

I just found two books on "Bars (Drinking establishments) -- Management" in the BPL, which I've just put in a request for, so hopefully that can help with concrete information on some of the nuts and bolts.

I also had the realization this morning that, though we can't do it immediately for financial reasons, our first floor space might be retrofittable into a small bar-like area. Two large rooms with a small kitchennette in the back (plus a more private back room, bathroom and storage) and we do have a fireplace... Of course, zoning, permits and parking will be among the hurdles...
[Hey, Ian! There's another reason to get into local politics; so we have more influence on whomever approves such permits. (No, I'm not talking anything negative; just so folks get to know and like us)]

I wonder (and I may post this to alt.callahans) has anybody actually tried running a RL bar in the style of Callahans? What were their experiences?

[undauntra.livejournal.com]

Okay, first, before you worry about money, do your research.

Has anyone tried creating Callahan's before? What were their experiences like?

What do you need for a bar, anyway? What furniture? What equipment? What licensing? What staff? Would you have to pay protection money in that neighborhood?

How much of a profit do bars generally make? Breaking even, just enough to pay staff salaries? Or can you expect to turn actual profit, enough to attract investors?

Can you expect a big enough customer base? Will those customers be the type of people who make it feel like Callhan's? Or will you get people looking for a meat market?

Would you be better off renting commercial space rather than purchasing outright? Unless the owner is proposing to finance you personally, the amount of down isn't his decision -- it's the mortgage company's. Mind you, for all I know 50% down may be standard for commercial properties -- or it may not.

[redbird]

This sounds like a cool idea.

Whether that bar-for-sale is the way to go is less clear. How much "incidental startup expenses" should there be if you're buying an existing bar? Does that mean "to live on while you get it going" or do they plan on leaving you an empty room, just shelves and the bar surface itself, and you have to restock everything from chairs to drinks?

[cheshyre]

Yay to having manageable steps!

We've been checking the want-ads for bartending jobs, but they're few and far-betweeen, especially for small neighborhood establishments. [Generally, we only see them when a new franchise is opening, and competition for those is fierce.]

Just brainstorming publically to see if it springboards ideas for anybody else.
Hey, Ian! The Havard Bartending Course has a $95 advanced class, which (a) covers some material that might benefit you, and (b) they promise to forward "emails about local bars and restaurants in need of temporary or permanent help." That latter part could be real useful, if they're actually effective.
Might want to call them up and ask how many such emails they've passed around in recent months, and possibly ask for copies of the emails (with the company omitted, if necessary) to see if they're getting the kinds of jobs that you want. But if they can actually help you find such a job, I think the money would be worth it.

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

It certainly does sound like a perfect synergy of two of the proficiencies you're willing to acknowledge: psychology and mixology :-)

I will ask, along the same lines as undauntra: What is it that would make a real-life bar "be" Callahan's? Either for you, or for the clientele?

[maedbh7.livejournal.com]

Then what the hell are you waiting for, man?!? Find an investor. -H...

[maedbh7.livejournal.com]

Yep, was news to me :) -H...

[(Anonymous)]

You should begin by doing what the rest of us are engaged in. GET A JOB SIR!

Or perhaps you could obtain your seed money through a divorce settlement. Or you could leverage the equity in that house you claim to own.
All in all, I don't think you owning anything aside from a purple camry is a good idea.

[maedbh7.livejournal.com]

I find it rather hysterically funny that you choose my reply to apend this to. Personally, I think the idea is bloody brilliant, and if he wants to go for it, he should. But it would help if he knows how to tend bar and listen. As demonstrated by the posts below, clearly he can do both. That I didn't know is a reason to verbally flay me? I should hope not. -H...

[maedbh7.livejournal.com]

Oh, and while you're at it, Bartender, can you make me that drink I ordered? Huck a little icecream in the mix, if you will; I like mine a little on the frothy side. -H...

[undauntra.livejournal.com]

Oh, come on. If you're going to advocate a major life-change like divorce, the least you can do is to identify yourself. How else will Lis know how to look you up when she's single?

(I'm assuming that it's Lis you're hot for, since your words seem to indicate a lack of appreciation for Ian.)