I stayed home; Lis went out
Dec. 20th, 2008 07:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xiphiasThis morning, Lis and I went to services (which we, unfortunately, rarely do), because there was a kiddush honoring all the students who would become bar and bat mitzvah in the upcoming year, and many of them had been my students in the past. Now, I've had a mild case of the flu for a while now, so I've been doing stuff in the mornings, then napping in the afternoons (and I'm extremely fortunate that, right now, my schedule allows that.) But Lis was getting a little cabin-fever-y, so she headed out without me.
As you might expect, it being Lis, she ended up at a used bookstore. And came home with a true find -- something I never thought would exist.
It's a joke book with significant numbers of funny jokes in it that neither Lis nor I had heard. It was apparently compiled from the notebooks of a vaudevillian. Many of the jokes are ones you already know (“How many Harvard students does it take to change a tire? Two, one to mix the drinks, and one to call Daddy.”) but others aren’t. And I’m not going to give any away right now . . . because, heck, people around here are actually performing burlesque and vaudeville -- maybe I could get a gig as a comedian.
I’m thinking, right now, about how to update a racist joke about stealing watermelon, to be a) not racist, and b) not about stealing watermelon, which isn’t really something that happens that much anymore.
Maybe something like this -- it still needs some work, but maybe you can help?
On Sunday morning, the preacher is giving his sermon.
“As you know, there has been a rash of people breaking into cars and stealing GPS’s and other electronics. Not only is that a sin, but, if you know of anyone who is doing this, concealing that is a sin itself. In our community, we cannot countenance such actions. If anyone knows anything about this, we must speak up against sin, and be a blessed people.”
At this, one member of the congregation stands up, snaps his fingers, and sits back down again.
“What is it -- why do you snap your fingers at me during my sermon?”
“Thanks, preacher -- I just remembered where I left my crowbar.”
As you might expect, it being Lis, she ended up at a used bookstore. And came home with a true find -- something I never thought would exist.
It's a joke book with significant numbers of funny jokes in it that neither Lis nor I had heard. It was apparently compiled from the notebooks of a vaudevillian. Many of the jokes are ones you already know (“How many Harvard students does it take to change a tire? Two, one to mix the drinks, and one to call Daddy.”) but others aren’t. And I’m not going to give any away right now . . . because, heck, people around here are actually performing burlesque and vaudeville -- maybe I could get a gig as a comedian.
I’m thinking, right now, about how to update a racist joke about stealing watermelon, to be a) not racist, and b) not about stealing watermelon, which isn’t really something that happens that much anymore.
Maybe something like this -- it still needs some work, but maybe you can help?
On Sunday morning, the preacher is giving his sermon.
“As you know, there has been a rash of people breaking into cars and stealing GPS’s and other electronics. Not only is that a sin, but, if you know of anyone who is doing this, concealing that is a sin itself. In our community, we cannot countenance such actions. If anyone knows anything about this, we must speak up against sin, and be a blessed people.”
At this, one member of the congregation stands up, snaps his fingers, and sits back down again.
“What is it -- why do you snap your fingers at me during my sermon?”
“Thanks, preacher -- I just remembered where I left my crowbar.”