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Some comments about my family
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wordweaverlynn's LJ, as we were talking about family, and parental aspirations. And I talked a little bit about my maternal grandfather. I liked what I wrote, so I'm copying it here.
I kinda lucked out with parents. And family, in general. Those [the parental aspirations that my parents have for me: be self-supporting, happy, fulfilled, and leave the world a better place than I found it] were the parental asperations that HER father had -- and has -- for her. My grandfather is very proud of my mother for deciding to become a rabbi -- Mom's near sixty now, and appears to have finally gotten an idea of what she wants to do with her life. And Papa's very proud of her (even if he, himself, is an atheist). One of his other daughters, who's in her mid-fifties, took early retirement from her job as a kindergarten teacher, and she and her husband are now film actors http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2253765/ and http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2331994/
His third daughter and her husband do hearing testing for OSHA compliance. And his older son is a dentist who works with Papa in the family dental practice, along with that son's son, my cousin, three generations of dentists in one practice. And his younger son is a piano tuner and gig musician.
In a lot of families, you'd expect a parent to be most proud of the child who has "Doctor" in front of his name, the one who's married to a high-powered lawyer. But, no. Papa is equally proud of his struggling gig musician son and his dentist son; his rabbi daughter, actress daughter, and hearing-tester daugher.
Why? Because all of them are good people who use their skills to be positive influences on the world.
Same with his grandchildren -- his dentist grandson, his bartender grandson, his tech-support grandson, his teacher granddaughter, his mall store manager granddaughter, and I forget what Lindsay is doing -- I think she's working part-time right now, because she's pregnant with, knock on wood, his first great-grandchild. As long as we find ways to use what we're doing to be the best we can be, to help people, and to be personally fulfilled, he's proud of us. He doesn't care WHAT we do so long as we're the best we can be at it. And "best" means "a good person", not "rich".
Sure, Todd works with him, and is going to make more money than most of us. But the IMPORTANT part is that Todd is going to treat people with respect and dignity, find ways to give dental care to people who couldn't otherwise afford it, and generally improve lives. And I'm going to serve drinks. And entertain people, and bring people happiness, and listen to them, and, if I can, improve lives. And those are equally valuable, because they both help people.
My grandfather is an atheist. He believes that, when you're dead, you're dead. And he believes that the only thing you've got is your actions on earth.
And he thinks that it's important to be comfortable, to have enough to eat, to be free from want and worry -- but any money above that is kind of pointless. And that your goal in life should be to provide comfort and safety for yourself, your family, and everyone else that you can help. Because the only thing we have in the world is how we interact with the world, how we leave the world.
The world exists after we don't, he believes. And therefore, your legacy is how the world has changed because of you. Everyone changes the world, and the only important thing is to make that change positive.
All of us do so. His high-powered lawyer daughter-in-law uses her skills to work for justice. His gig musician son creates music. Both justice and music are good things; therefore, people who create justice, and people who create music are both worthy of praise and respect.
wordweaverlynn's LJ, as we were talking about family, and parental aspirations. And I talked a little bit about my maternal grandfather. I liked what I wrote, so I'm copying it here.I kinda lucked out with parents. And family, in general. Those [the parental aspirations that my parents have for me: be self-supporting, happy, fulfilled, and leave the world a better place than I found it] were the parental asperations that HER father had -- and has -- for her. My grandfather is very proud of my mother for deciding to become a rabbi -- Mom's near sixty now, and appears to have finally gotten an idea of what she wants to do with her life. And Papa's very proud of her (even if he, himself, is an atheist). One of his other daughters, who's in her mid-fifties, took early retirement from her job as a kindergarten teacher, and she and her husband are now film actors http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2253765/ and http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2331994/
His third daughter and her husband do hearing testing for OSHA compliance. And his older son is a dentist who works with Papa in the family dental practice, along with that son's son, my cousin, three generations of dentists in one practice. And his younger son is a piano tuner and gig musician.
In a lot of families, you'd expect a parent to be most proud of the child who has "Doctor" in front of his name, the one who's married to a high-powered lawyer. But, no. Papa is equally proud of his struggling gig musician son and his dentist son; his rabbi daughter, actress daughter, and hearing-tester daugher.
Why? Because all of them are good people who use their skills to be positive influences on the world.
Same with his grandchildren -- his dentist grandson, his bartender grandson, his tech-support grandson, his teacher granddaughter, his mall store manager granddaughter, and I forget what Lindsay is doing -- I think she's working part-time right now, because she's pregnant with, knock on wood, his first great-grandchild. As long as we find ways to use what we're doing to be the best we can be, to help people, and to be personally fulfilled, he's proud of us. He doesn't care WHAT we do so long as we're the best we can be at it. And "best" means "a good person", not "rich".
Sure, Todd works with him, and is going to make more money than most of us. But the IMPORTANT part is that Todd is going to treat people with respect and dignity, find ways to give dental care to people who couldn't otherwise afford it, and generally improve lives. And I'm going to serve drinks. And entertain people, and bring people happiness, and listen to them, and, if I can, improve lives. And those are equally valuable, because they both help people.
My grandfather is an atheist. He believes that, when you're dead, you're dead. And he believes that the only thing you've got is your actions on earth.
And he thinks that it's important to be comfortable, to have enough to eat, to be free from want and worry -- but any money above that is kind of pointless. And that your goal in life should be to provide comfort and safety for yourself, your family, and everyone else that you can help. Because the only thing we have in the world is how we interact with the world, how we leave the world.
The world exists after we don't, he believes. And therefore, your legacy is how the world has changed because of you. Everyone changes the world, and the only important thing is to make that change positive.
All of us do so. His high-powered lawyer daughter-in-law uses her skills to work for justice. His gig musician son creates music. Both justice and music are good things; therefore, people who create justice, and people who create music are both worthy of praise and respect.
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Of course, I'm also jealous of you for having even one grandparent in *this* world rather than the next.
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My father's parents retired on July 1st for tax reasons. Of course, "retired" is a relative term. We knew Papa Ralph retired because he got into work at 8 that day -- first time he'd slept in in, well, he probably slept in the day after the Battle of the Bulge was over and done with, but I don't know if he's slept late since.
Of course, he was in work at 5:30 as usual on July 2. . .
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Grandparents are one of the best inventions ever.
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Cheers, and I hope he lives to see several great-grandchildren born.
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My mother-in-law (my children's only living grandparent) is a woman with many wonderful qualities, but your grandfather has one that she doesn't, and I suspect it makes his life richer and happier than hers: being proud of children/grandchildren "because all of them are good people who use their skills to be positive influences on the world." But she is very focused on college education and professional job. My mother, however, who lived with us the last 5+ years of her life (she died when the kids were almost-15, 14, 11, and 7) gave her grandchildren unconditional love, so they did have that.
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I have always loved your family for this attitude, which I encountered when I really, really needed to; I should thank your grandfather for it, next time I get a chance.
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