I'm sorry for not responding to this sooner: I was out all weekend.
I think your first point is right: clinical depression is ONE thing that can result in procrastination and social isolation, but is far from the ONLY thing that could.
Now, MY question, about the REST of your family, is, "are they generally content being loners and taking their time getting things done?" There's nothing wrong with being a loner, there's nothing wrong with being laid-back. If they're content with their lives, if it works with them, then there's no problem.
If it causes pain, then it IS a problem. And it sounds like it causes pain for you. Does it cause pain for the rest of your family, too?
I'd say that, for ME, at least, "productive" therapy is when the therapist and I can set specific, concrete goals for the time between then and our next meeting, things that I can work on, track, and come back and report how it worked out.
For instance, perhaps I could make a goal of "spend two hours working on my resume, and apply to three jobs per day." Or "go to the gym twice a week." Or something like that. Something concrete and measurable, some goal.
If I DON'T make that goal, then we look at WHY, at what happened emotionally or to my energy level, or what, that kept me from doing it. Without throwing blame around, doing our best to NOT have me feel guilty about it, but giving us a chance to look at what happened instead of what we intended to happen, figure out whatever that thing was, and start to come up with ways to work around it.
For me, anyway, useful therapy isn't about "how did I get this way," but rather about "what do I do from here".
Other people have different needs. There are people who have genuine traumas that they need to deal with -- in effect, they're dealing with so much emotional scar tissue that it's getting in the way. There are people who have irrational responses to situations, which they need to work through and understand in order to defeat.
But me, what I need is concrete plans and measuarable goals.
That is merely what works for me -- you may need something different.
But, as you can see, for ME, since I need measurable goals that I can attempt to do and then talk about what made it succeed or fail, I ALSO need drugs to allow me to have the chance to have it work. If I have so much emotional shit going on that I physically cannot get out of bed (I've been going through my LJ and tagging old entries, and I'm reading about how bad stuff used to be), then it's obvious that I cannot learn anything useful about why I didn't get to the gym twice this week -- I didn't get to the gym because I couldn't get out of bed. That's not useful.
So, for ME, I need drugs to get me to the point where I have a chance to do something, then therapy to help figure out things to do, and to discuss and analyze why I was or was not able to do them.
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Date: 2008-02-18 02:01 pm (UTC)I think your first point is right: clinical depression is ONE thing that can result in procrastination and social isolation, but is far from the ONLY thing that could.
Now, MY question, about the REST of your family, is, "are they generally content being loners and taking their time getting things done?" There's nothing wrong with being a loner, there's nothing wrong with being laid-back. If they're content with their lives, if it works with them, then there's no problem.
If it causes pain, then it IS a problem. And it sounds like it causes pain for you. Does it cause pain for the rest of your family, too?
I'd say that, for ME, at least, "productive" therapy is when the therapist and I can set specific, concrete goals for the time between then and our next meeting, things that I can work on, track, and come back and report how it worked out.
For instance, perhaps I could make a goal of "spend two hours working on my resume, and apply to three jobs per day." Or "go to the gym twice a week." Or something like that. Something concrete and measurable, some goal.
If I DON'T make that goal, then we look at WHY, at what happened emotionally or to my energy level, or what, that kept me from doing it. Without throwing blame around, doing our best to NOT have me feel guilty about it, but giving us a chance to look at what happened instead of what we intended to happen, figure out whatever that thing was, and start to come up with ways to work around it.
For me, anyway, useful therapy isn't about "how did I get this way," but rather about "what do I do from here".
Other people have different needs. There are people who have genuine traumas that they need to deal with -- in effect, they're dealing with so much emotional scar tissue that it's getting in the way. There are people who have irrational responses to situations, which they need to work through and understand in order to defeat.
But me, what I need is concrete plans and measuarable goals.
That is merely what works for me -- you may need something different.
But, as you can see, for ME, since I need measurable goals that I can attempt to do and then talk about what made it succeed or fail, I ALSO need drugs to allow me to have the chance to have it work. If I have so much emotional shit going on that I physically cannot get out of bed (I've been going through my LJ and tagging old entries, and I'm reading about how bad stuff used to be), then it's obvious that I cannot learn anything useful about why I didn't get to the gym twice this week -- I didn't get to the gym because I couldn't get out of bed. That's not useful.
So, for ME, I need drugs to get me to the point where I have a chance to do something, then therapy to help figure out things to do, and to discuss and analyze why I was or was not able to do them.