The things you learn when browsing Wikipedia. . .

[xiphias]

"Another verified attack came when a careless zookeeper named Luke James, was brutally attacked and killed after not so subtly mocking the ferocity of the Cassowary at what was previously thought to be a safe distance."

Am I a bad person for laughing at this?

Comments

[cellio]

I hope not, because I laughed too. "Previously thought to be a safe distance" -- ha!

[spatch]

Don't mock the Cassowary mocking, dude, you could be next!

[cowgurrl.livejournal.com]

Dude Cassowaries are SCARY. I've seen them in the wild and man was I glad I was inside a giant bus!

[king-tirian.livejournal.com]

I can just imagine that somewhere in the news report was a zoologst saying something like "Mr. James' fate, as sad as it is, has provided us with a new understanding of safe cassowary mocking distances. If this data is confirmed by independent research, it could dramatically shift the debate on the teasing of all flightless birds."

[ruth-lawrence.livejournal.com]

If you are then so am I.

It isn't a terribly good idea to ridicule emus, either.

[vonandmoggy.livejournal.com]

*snickers*

I laughed too...especially at this part: "...at what was previously thought to be a safe distance."

We're both going to hell. :)

[delerium69.livejournal.com]

No, er, well, maybe a little. It's pretty tragic, but any keeper that doesn't know how dangerous a wild animal can be...I have to ask what their doing working in a zoo, and who hired them in the first place.

For me, a safe distance from a cassowary is the opposite side of the fence. Yeesh.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

I would say that "safe mocking distance" for a cassowary is "somewhere where the feathered velocoraptor isn't going to find out about it."

I mean, I'd feel pretty worried about mocking a cassowary from here in Boston, in case a cassowary got Internet access, somebody posted about my cassowary-mocking to their LJ, the cassowary ego-googled on "cassowary" and found out about it, and hopped a flight over here.

'Cause, damn it, I'm pretty sure they could, and would, do that.

Hey! There's an idea for a movie: "Cassowaries On A Plane!"

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Tagline: "Flightless Bird? Not anymore. . . "

No

[shmuelisms.livejournal.com]

Not bad at all. Stupidity deserves to be mocked (not that this helps, the mocked being too stupid to understand the mocking). :=P Wild animals do NOT "play nice". Boy is that bird, butt-ugly!

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

It's something about the writing style, I think... Do not mock the ferocity of the Cassowary!

[pogodragon.livejournal.com]

If you're bad then so am I.

I also love this concept:
a new understanding of safe cassowary mocking distances.
Thanks, king_tirian.

Never mock a ratite!

[dakiwiboid.livejournal.com]

Admittedly, I'm just a kiwi, and we're little, but the rest of my family gets MEAN! Grown men have been known to run from enraged emus. Here's a poem I wrote about another family member, the ostrich.
Feelin' Ratite

I feel struthious just now.
I don't want to hide my head
And refuse to face the facts
Or any of those cliches.
I want to run in the wind
With heavy wings flapping
And big, taloned feet stomping.
I want to bat thick eyelashes
And crane my long neck at you,
Tempting you to get so close
That I can take a big nip
Out of your pretentiousness.
I want to kick somebody
So hard they'll really stay kicked.
If I decide to lay eggs,
They'll be huge, porcelain things
Worthy to be turned to art.
I want to raise such a squack
That everyone who hears me
Will whisper to their children,
"Honey, look at that big bird!".

July 15, 2003

[kyra-ojosverdes.livejournal.com]

I think this is one of those "If this is wrong then I don't want to be right" situations.

[elynne.livejournal.com]

"somewhere where the feathered velocoraptor isn't going to find out about it."

*screeee* :D :D

[the-editor.livejournal.com]

I had an emu that had a crush on me once. I had to do some work in their pen. The damned bird just followed me around.

I had no illusions about how dangerous THEY were.
Cassowaries look like they are dressed for COMBAT!
I would expect a tourist to get whacked by an angry bird... anyone who knows animals would recognize atavistic postures in ANY animal they are working with.

DAMN!

That's a very funny turn of phrase.
I laughed.

[sproutntad.livejournal.com]

Cassowarys are badd-ass animals! There are only 24 left in the wild and they are MEAN!!!! Did it say how the guy died? Cassowarys jump 6' straight up and disembowl their prey with both talons. It's sad, but this guy may be the last person ever to be killed by a Cassowary as they are on the brink of extinction. :( When I was in Aussie, two of my friends were walking through the Dainetree and came across a Cassowary. They were really excited, but also really scared (knowing they could die at any second). They knew not to run (which is very good, b/c Cassowarys WILL chase you) but to stand perfectly still and hold their bags over their head to make them look bigger. < A Cassowary won't attack anything their size or larger> But they also knew that none of us would believe them, so, while trying to stay perfectly still, they were trying to take pictures of it as well. Needless to say the pics were pretty funny :)

[cheshyre]

Interesting.

This morning, I heard a story on NPR about Darwin (really well-told and entertaining).

When I went to look up the author, thinking about reading his Darwin bio, I came across this other book by him: Monster of God : the man-eating predator in the jungles of history and the mind, summarized as:

The author laments the decline of the big predators--animals that are capable of stalking and killing humans--wondering how our psyches will be affected when the last of these creatures is safely ensconced in a zoo.

It all seems to tie together...

[cheshyre]

Trying to find more on the hapless Luke James, I came across this article which might amuse you both: http://www.nola.com/printer/printer.ssf?/base/news-0/114602928414660.xml

[(Anonymous)]

luke james was my uncle. don't laugh. it's not funny.

[(Anonymous)]

alright, i must clear this up. luke james is my uncle, but he is alive and well. this is an inside joke that my family started. we were changing things on the cassowary article. we added the thing on Luke James and were suprized to find that wikipedia never cleaned it up. its hilarious though that so many other sites have used this information as fact. some newspaper quoted it in one of their articles a couple months ago.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Damn. Now I'm disappointed. Um -- that didn't come out right. Um. . .

In any case, it's a damn funny quote. And we did do some googling to try to find confirmation, and found that the only mentions of "luke james cassowary" were all quotes from wikipedia.