(no subject)

[xiphias]

I tend to pride myself on knowing lots of jokes. I mean, if you tell me the first line of a joke, I can usually tell you the punchline. I had a standing challenge in high school to folks to try to stump me, and it occasionally happened, but not often.

That said, I was quite amused to find two really dumb jokes, the kind little kids tell, the kind that I really, really enjoy, that I'd never heard before. Y'all probably have, though.

What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
You can roast beef, but you can't pea soup.

Also, I invented a surprisingly tasty drink today. A shot of bourbon, the juice of 1 lemon, a couple dashes of salt, and fill with seltzer.

The salt really makes a difference. I was surprised at how good it ended up. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised -- bars use club soda instead of seltzer, because club soda has salt and seltzer doesn't. But I added more salt than would be in the club soda. I guess, if I used club soda, I'd use one dash of salt instead of two or three.

Comments

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

you could make that first one a little kinkier (or more appropriate for a renfaire crowd) by making the punchline "nice corset". :-)

[bluepapercup]

hahah! I hadn't heard either of those jokes before :) Thank you for sharing.

[vvalkyri.livejournal.com]

Cute.
I heard a joke last night that amused and surprised me. It started with a rabbi and a non-stop talking frog.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

A shot of bourbon, the juice of 1 lemon, a couple dashes of salt, and fill with seltzer.

With the salty-lemony-fizzy of that drink, I would name it "Alka-Seltzer."

[fallenkalina.livejournal.com]

My twin brother, who has autism and very little sense of humor, told us this one, which everyone has heard:

"Why is six afraid of seven?"
"Because seven eight(ate) nine"

[mattblum.livejournal.com]

I particularly like the second one. When I tell it, I usually say the punchline as "Anyone can roast beef..." I think it's a little funnier if you let your audience figure out the rest.

[breadd.livejournal.com]

You can roast beef, but you can't pea soup.

Nice. Of course, 'you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish'

Or something like that.

D'oh.

I was recently hanging out with a couple of kids 7 and 8 yrs old and we hunted down a couple of collections of elephant jokes on the 'net. Some real groaners. It's possible that I was having more fun than they were.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

My nephew's favourite joke when he was six was; Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.