xiphias | (no subject)

I tend to pride myself on knowing lots of jokes. I mean, if you tell me the first line of a joke, I can usually tell you the punchline. I had a standing challenge in high school to folks to try to stump me, and it occasionally happened, but not often.

That said, I was quite amused to find two really dumb jokes, the kind little kids tell, the kind that I really, really enjoy, that I'd never heard before. Y'all probably have, though.

What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
You can roast beef, but you can't pea soup.

Also, I invented a surprisingly tasty drink today. A shot of bourbon, the juice of 1 lemon, a couple dashes of salt, and fill with seltzer.

The salt really makes a difference. I was surprised at how good it ended up. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised -- bars use club soda instead of seltzer, because club soda has salt and seltzer doesn't. But I added more salt than would be in the club soda. I guess, if I used club soda, I'd use one dash of salt instead of two or three.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So? So? TELL US THE JOKE! (Pleeeeeeease...)

Rabbi walks into a bar, with a constantly talking frog on his shoulder. Bartender says, "Where did you get that?"

"I got him in Israel"

Instafilk (for the frog)
ttto "I Won't Grow Up" from the musical "Peter Pan".

I won't shut up (I won't shut up)
And I wanna go to shul (and I wanna go to shul)
...

I just told my wife that, with "the frog kept talking and talking and talking and wouldn't shut up". She loved it.
And she added, "Is there any Jew who wouldn't get it?"

I just realized that would have made more sense if I'd ended with "and the frog said, 'I got him in Israel'"

(the person telling the joke to me had spent much more time expounding on how the frog kept talking and talking and talking)

Yeah, that's funnier.

Like the one about the person going into a doctor's office with a frog growing out of his head, and the doctor says, "Well, it's pretty obvious what the problem is," and the frog says, "Yeah -- can you get this thing off of my ass?"