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So, I was just telling my parents about my Octopus/Inteligent Design theory. . .
We're at my parents' house; my niece and nephew and their parents were over for the weekend for New Year's, and they just left, and Lis is asleep, and I was telling my parents about how Intelligent Design actually all holds together, if you assume that HUMANS aren't the creature that was designed. As I said, "So, all you need is to think of a creature without joints, without teeth, and whose eyes don't grow from their optic nerves, but are intelligent and have the ability to use tools. . . "
And Dad said, "Oh! Octopuses!"
I explained about Cthulhu and the Flying Spaghetti monster are probably therefore just visions of the Great Octopus.
And I explained my further theory about how, according to this theory, the purpose of humans was to be controlled by the Intelligent Designer to create global warming to make large shallow seas over the coastal areas that humans have built up, so that the octopuses could have the benefit of our structures while they created their own society.
And Mom said, "So, the Bush Dynasty is being controlled by Cthulhu in order to destroy humanity?"
And Dad said, "It explains a lot about Cheney -- he always did have that kind of fishy, Innsmouth look to him."
I said, "Yeah. This has actually been keeping me up at nights. . . it all hangs together all too well. If you can come up with ANYTHING that would be an argument against this, anything that will make me feel better about this, I'd love to hear it."
Mom and Dad were quiet and thinking for a while. And Mom said, "Well, they'll probably need a small slave population of humans to work the dry-land areas for a while. . . ."
(Other comments: "Well, if the Greenland ice caps go, the sea levels will go up about fifty feet. Once the octopuses get MIT, it's all over. On the other hand, they'll also get Logan Airport, which should slow them down some. . . 'I dunno, man, I went to this place near the shore, and I was stuck there for six freakin' hours. . . '")
And Dad said, "Oh! Octopuses!"
I explained about Cthulhu and the Flying Spaghetti monster are probably therefore just visions of the Great Octopus.
And I explained my further theory about how, according to this theory, the purpose of humans was to be controlled by the Intelligent Designer to create global warming to make large shallow seas over the coastal areas that humans have built up, so that the octopuses could have the benefit of our structures while they created their own society.
And Mom said, "So, the Bush Dynasty is being controlled by Cthulhu in order to destroy humanity?"
And Dad said, "It explains a lot about Cheney -- he always did have that kind of fishy, Innsmouth look to him."
I said, "Yeah. This has actually been keeping me up at nights. . . it all hangs together all too well. If you can come up with ANYTHING that would be an argument against this, anything that will make me feel better about this, I'd love to hear it."
Mom and Dad were quiet and thinking for a while. And Mom said, "Well, they'll probably need a small slave population of humans to work the dry-land areas for a while. . . ."
(Other comments: "Well, if the Greenland ice caps go, the sea levels will go up about fifty feet. Once the octopuses get MIT, it's all over. On the other hand, they'll also get Logan Airport, which should slow them down some. . . 'I dunno, man, I went to this place near the shore, and I was stuck there for six freakin' hours. . . '")
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What if it's not about the oil? I mean, sure, if more oil gets used, then global warming happens more quickly, but what if it's more than that? What if there's Something buried there, asleep and dreaming, that the
cultistsPetroleum Industry intends to awaken? Surely Antarctica isn't the only isolated frozen waste to be inhabited by some Unspeakably powerful being......where are my manners? Hi, I'm _flame_god_.
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