So, I was just telling my parents about my Octopus/Inteligent Design theory. . .

[xiphias]

We're at my parents' house; my niece and nephew and their parents were over for the weekend for New Year's, and they just left, and Lis is asleep, and I was telling my parents about how Intelligent Design actually all holds together, if you assume that HUMANS aren't the creature that was designed. As I said, "So, all you need is to think of a creature without joints, without teeth, and whose eyes don't grow from their optic nerves, but are intelligent and have the ability to use tools. . . "

And Dad said, "Oh! Octopuses!"

I explained about Cthulhu and the Flying Spaghetti monster are probably therefore just visions of the Great Octopus.

And I explained my further theory about how, according to this theory, the purpose of humans was to be controlled by the Intelligent Designer to create global warming to make large shallow seas over the coastal areas that humans have built up, so that the octopuses could have the benefit of our structures while they created their own society.

And Mom said, "So, the Bush Dynasty is being controlled by Cthulhu in order to destroy humanity?"

And Dad said, "It explains a lot about Cheney -- he always did have that kind of fishy, Innsmouth look to him."

I said, "Yeah. This has actually been keeping me up at nights. . . it all hangs together all too well. If you can come up with ANYTHING that would be an argument against this, anything that will make me feel better about this, I'd love to hear it."

Mom and Dad were quiet and thinking for a while. And Mom said, "Well, they'll probably need a small slave population of humans to work the dry-land areas for a while. . . ."

(Other comments: "Well, if the Greenland ice caps go, the sea levels will go up about fifty feet. Once the octopuses get MIT, it's all over. On the other hand, they'll also get Logan Airport, which should slow them down some. . . 'I dunno, man, I went to this place near the shore, and I was stuck there for six freakin' hours. . . '")

Comments

[warren8472.livejournal.com]

Holy crap. This may also explain the intelligent design behind rotary-that-isn't-a-rotary at Exit 16 in Newton. (I spent a good 20 minutes circling around that thing once, trying to figure out where to go.) Perhaps there are two gods-- one octopus, one human-- and they are constantly trying to outwit each other. It's god vs. god, and the Boston area is the battleground! Zoroastrianism, eat your heart out.

[bunrab.livejournal.com]

I always thought the Green Line routes looked like they were designed to be maps for aliens - ya know, like Chariots of the Gods thinks those South American thingies are alien landing directions? 'Course, the Green Line may have changed since I lived there in the 70's.

Maryland, where I have been living for 6 months, has rotaries but calls them roundabouts. My spousal unit, who had lived in Texas all his life till now, where there aren't even cloverleaf intersections, let alone rotaries, is fairly convinced that rotaries are pure evil.

[warren8472.livejournal.com]

Boston's subway map looks like an octopus. Espcially with that new airport extension that looks like an enormous tentacle.