I mean, we all set our own "win states" for life, and mine is raising a reasonably well-adjusted kid or two.
She doesn't get the concept of setting a single win state for your life, and not being able to change it, or add other ones later. Because, probably, she's better mentally adjusted than I am.
So once you have these kids, if you find a way, how are you going to decide what is 'reasonably well-adjusted'? How are you going to feel if your expectations regarding being well-adjusted aren't met? How is a kid going to feel if they know that the only thing that will make you happy is raising them successfully and that YOUR definition of success is not flexible?
Some of what other people have said here is good advice, but if your win-state is so very inflexible it probably bears thinking about how you can make that more flexible anyway, for your own sake and that of any children you might have.
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Date: 2005-03-20 12:58 pm (UTC)She doesn't get the concept of setting a single win state for your life, and not being able to change it, or add other ones later. Because, probably, she's better mentally adjusted than I am.
So once you have these kids, if you find a way, how are you going to decide what is 'reasonably well-adjusted'? How are you going to feel if your expectations regarding being well-adjusted aren't met? How is a kid going to feel if they know that the only thing that will make you happy is raising them successfully and that YOUR definition of success is not flexible?
Some of what other people have said here is good advice, but if your win-state is so very inflexible it probably bears thinking about how you can make that more flexible anyway, for your own sake and that of any children you might have.