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xiphiasOne thing is that I've been, for no reason I can tell, feeling resistant about taking my antidepressants. I just don't want to take the damn pills. I have to cut them in half, because I was perscribed 20mg pills with instructions to cut them in half, in order to save money, since they charge per pill, so that gets you twice the antidepressants for the same money. And it's just annoying, and I just don't want to do it.
I suppose I've got external reasons to feel depressed, too, but I don't really want to talk about them. And besides, I think the chemical reasons are the more important ones.
I read an article in a magazine today which claimed that there are now forms of talk therapy which can treat depression. That seems so absolutely bizzare to me. I mean, I know myself pretty well -- I'm very self-aware, and am aware of my thought patterns and stuff like that.
And the causality between depressive states and thought patterns, for me, starts with the state, and the thought pattern is a result of that.
There's no correlation between depression and external events, and little correlation between depression and therapy in my life, and incredibly strong correlation between depression and whether I take Lexapro or not. I mean, if I skip the meds for two or three days, I'm depressed. If I don't, I'm not. The correlation between my depression and my antidepressants is just about exactly as strong as the correlation between my Prilosec and my heartburn.
Hannukah has mostly sucked. I lit candles at home on the first night. We were at my parents the second night, and candles were lit. We were at Mystery House last night, and candles were lit. And that's it. That's all we've done. I've been working so many nights, and been so depressed the nights I HAVE been home, that I've not even managed to do Hannukah, and I'm really feeling resentful about that.
Anna, our upstairs tenant, is apparently in the hospital. I know this from her daughter's LJ. I have no idea what's going on. I'm annoyed at basically everyone who lives in our house, including myself, and every single cat, even the ones I never see, just on general principles.
I suppose I've got external reasons to feel depressed, too, but I don't really want to talk about them. And besides, I think the chemical reasons are the more important ones.
I read an article in a magazine today which claimed that there are now forms of talk therapy which can treat depression. That seems so absolutely bizzare to me. I mean, I know myself pretty well -- I'm very self-aware, and am aware of my thought patterns and stuff like that.
And the causality between depressive states and thought patterns, for me, starts with the state, and the thought pattern is a result of that.
There's no correlation between depression and external events, and little correlation between depression and therapy in my life, and incredibly strong correlation between depression and whether I take Lexapro or not. I mean, if I skip the meds for two or three days, I'm depressed. If I don't, I'm not. The correlation between my depression and my antidepressants is just about exactly as strong as the correlation between my Prilosec and my heartburn.
Hannukah has mostly sucked. I lit candles at home on the first night. We were at my parents the second night, and candles were lit. We were at Mystery House last night, and candles were lit. And that's it. That's all we've done. I've been working so many nights, and been so depressed the nights I HAVE been home, that I've not even managed to do Hannukah, and I'm really feeling resentful about that.
Anna, our upstairs tenant, is apparently in the hospital. I know this from her daughter's LJ. I have no idea what's going on. I'm annoyed at basically everyone who lives in our house, including myself, and every single cat, even the ones I never see, just on general principles.