If I should see you in such a state, what should I do? Ignore it? Try to pull you out of it? Option-the-third? If I see you at home just repetitively playing Sims, should I kick you off the computer and make you do chores and get out in the sunshine, or should I just let you play computer games all day? If I see you lumped in the halls at the con, should I leave you to mope, let you go home alone, or stick with you (dragging you to parties you're not in a mood for or following you home when I want to stay)?
This question here used to drive my family members up a tree. Because they *wanted* to help, and they didn't want to see me in pain. But most of the time when they tried to help, it just made things worse, and I was never in a state where I could articulate *why*, or be able to ask for the things that would have been appreciated. And I never considered, during the times when I *was* coherent enough, creating some sort of "care-and-feeding of a depressed Brian" guide.
One of the big ones, for me (YMMV) is that sometimes I wanted to be left alone to wallow for a while. And sometimes I wanted to snap out of it, but couldn't. I consider it kinda screwed up, but even now I sometimes get into a state where I *want* to just be depressed for a few hours. It's kinda like resting. Being happy is *hard*, because I'm constantly on edge and waiting for it to crumble, or whatever. Being depressed is easy, I just play games and listen to music and stop caring. And there's really no way to tell from outside which state I'm in. So step one, if I had anyone close enough to me to be making such steps, would be to ask me if I wanted help in snapping out of it. (Also because I very much recognize the power of ritualistic questions. If someone just asks me how I'm feeling, they'll get a non-commital grunt. Because that's such a common question, and there's no good answer to it. A specific question for a specific purpose is much more likely to spawn useful thought processes and a useful answer.) If I were to answer in the negative, then there's really not much that can be done. Nothing productive, anyways. If I answer in the affirmative, then there's a few things that are likely to help. Generally, anything involving sunlight, laughter, food, loud things, or physical exertion. In some sort of combination. And I'll probably have to be poked, prodded, and/or dragged into it, but I'll thank the dragger later.
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Date: 2004-09-09 01:35 pm (UTC)Ignore it? Try to pull you out of it? Option-the-third?
If I see you at home just repetitively playing Sims, should I kick you off the computer and make you do chores and get out in the sunshine, or should I just let you play computer games all day?
If I see you lumped in the halls at the con, should I leave you to mope, let you go home alone, or stick with you (dragging you to parties you're not in a mood for or following you home when I want to stay)?
This question here used to drive my family members up a tree. Because they *wanted* to help, and they didn't want to see me in pain. But most of the time when they tried to help, it just made things worse, and I was never in a state where I could articulate *why*, or be able to ask for the things that would have been appreciated. And I never considered, during the times when I *was* coherent enough, creating some sort of "care-and-feeding of a depressed Brian" guide.
One of the big ones, for me (YMMV) is that sometimes I wanted to be left alone to wallow for a while. And sometimes I wanted to snap out of it, but couldn't. I consider it kinda screwed up, but even now I sometimes get into a state where I *want* to just be depressed for a few hours. It's kinda like resting. Being happy is *hard*, because I'm constantly on edge and waiting for it to crumble, or whatever. Being depressed is easy, I just play games and listen to music and stop caring. And there's really no way to tell from outside which state I'm in. So step one, if I had anyone close enough to me to be making such steps, would be to ask me if I wanted help in snapping out of it. (Also because I very much recognize the power of ritualistic questions. If someone just asks me how I'm feeling, they'll get a non-commital grunt. Because that's such a common question, and there's no good answer to it. A specific question for a specific purpose is much more likely to spawn useful thought processes and a useful answer.) If I were to answer in the negative, then there's really not much that can be done. Nothing productive, anyways. If I answer in the affirmative, then there's a few things that are likely to help. Generally, anything involving sunlight, laughter, food, loud things, or physical exertion. In some sort of combination. And I'll probably have to be poked, prodded, and/or dragged into it, but I'll thank the dragger later.