I know my husband seems to have a few sore spots about not being understood due to early experiences while he was learning English, but he gained a great deal in coming first to Los Angeles (from Moscow).

I have a great deal of envy about people who have a foundation of belonging to start with - maybe I'm wrong, and it just makes the sense of alienation sharper, but from my side I imagine it's worse not to ever have a sense of belonging anywhere, including at home (because the parents are immigrants and can't understand why the children are so angry about being Othered.)

I have historically had trouble getting emigres to understand why I find such anger and pain in being Othered as a non-white (and non-black) American - they tend to either compare me to their own "from someplace else" experience, or are baffled by my insistence that I'm not seen as an American.

I hope, like you, that sharing experiences of Othering leads to understanding across the divides.