For those of you who don't believe that "skill" is the least important part of bartending:

[xiphias]

Okay. Let me make this clear. I believe that making good drinks well is a vital part of tending bar.

Yet, for those of you who are interested in tending bar, but fear that you just may not have the skills, I offer the following video.

Watch it first, then I'll put some discussion points under the cut.

Yes, most of the lessons in this video are "what not to do". This video is like this recording of "O Holy Night":

(Which, incidentally, I found by doing a search on "worst O holy night ever", knowing that I'd find this exact recording).

In each case, as you are just convinced that this just COULDN'T possibly get WORSE, it manages to take it to the next level. For me, at both "Oh night de-VIIIIIIIIINEEE!" and "Don't forget your Sprite", I just totally lost it and my horror cracked into uncontrollable giggles.

So, yes, in both cases, these are largely "How Not To Do It" examples. Besides the obvious things, note how the bartender uses the muddler upside down, barely shakes the drink. . .

Still, there are things to learn from this, as well.

Note that this woman is not only employed at a bar, but she has enough self-confidence to actually put this video up on the web. Self-confidence is the most important attribute a bartender can have. When I was learning, I made plenty of drinks incorrectly -- and most of the time, people would drink them happily, anyway. Okay, I never did anything THAT egregious, but still.

And I also think that those of you who are considering getting into bartending can take some encouragement from this. SHE has a job. Yes, I'm sure you can see the two main reasons she got the job on display in the yellow halter, yet still. . . .

It reminds me of that scene in THE FULL MONTY, where they are watching videos in order to learn how to dance:

GAZ:
It's "Flashdance." She's a welder, isn't she?

DAVE:
A welder?

I hope she dances better than she welds.

Look at that. Her mix is all to cock.

GAZ:
What the fuck do you know about welding, any road?

DAVE:
More than some chuffing woman.

It's like Bonfire Night. That's too much acetylene.

Them joints won't hold fuck all.

If Dave can take confidence in his dancing by the fact that he can weld better than Jennifer Beals's character in FLASHDANCE, you ought to take even MORE confidence in your bartending by the fact that you can actually tend bar better than Andrea there.

Comments

[rebmommy.livejournal.com]

very, very funny... Now, I don't know much about mixing drinks, and I didn't know the muddler was upside down, but even I could tell that this drink was mistake after mistake. Maybe juice from the 3 lime wedges, a splash of Rose's Lime juice, and the Sprite would have made a passable drink. But she went on and on and on and... You should have seen dad's face as he watched this video- that was very, very funny in itself. He said, "What!? Woodford Reserve! That's like using a Ferrari for a doorstop."

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

I'm sure his face looked much like mine when I watched it.

Yeccchhh

[thnidu.livejournal.com]

I know even less than that on the subject, but (in addition to what you said)...

1. Sprite?!!!
   
2. That "pinch of mint" looked more like a gorilla's fistful.
   
3. Did she also add sugar? (I'm NOT going to watch it again to check!)
   
4. The result was a butt-ugly mess. Who would want to drink that?
   

Sorry, lady, no sale.

Re: Yeccchhh

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

A mint julep SHOULD have a gorilla's fistful of mint in it, not a "pinch". It's a MINT julep, after all.

It also should have sugar, or simple syrup. And bourbon, and ice.

What it shouldn't have is anything ELSE that was in that mess.

Re: Yeccchhh

[thnidu.livejournal.com]

True enough. But I thought she SAID "pinch".

And I don't think it should LOOK like a mess, either.