First, thank you for some insight into your faith. It is always interesting to read you stuff about that.

Second, I think that you were right about who was at most fault. The writer could have been more discrete, but it is definately unacceptable to be the troublemaker in between. I believe that is the one called lashon ha-ra? I can see how that would wreck communities. I don't know if you should have called them out in front of everyone, but it surely made for a good object lesson.