Of course I have a world-view that predisposes me to find offense in this sort of circumstance -- that's what I've been SAYING. And of course the ACTUAL party hosts had no part of that.
That, of course, doesn't mean that they aren't aware of that sort of mind-set, nor that they are -- I mean, we live in the same culture, so I assume we have some sort of cultural commonality, but, as I have never met them, I don't know that.
As far as sent messages: I also assume that other people were SENT other messages. They had different people working the door at different times; different people have different communication styles. Every communication event happens in a context, between people. I, personally, received a message. A few other people ALSO received the same message, which suggests that the ENTIRE burden of miscommunication is not on me.
In cases where only a single person receives a message, you can assume that the entire fault belongs to that person: "I asked him if he wanted paper or plastic; he assumed that I said to worship our Lord Satan and kill babies. I guess I could have been clearer. . . "
In a case like that, you wouldn't assume that the SENDER of the message had been at fault. But if MULTIPLE people assume that that supermarket bagger is suggesting infant sacrifice, you might want to check to see if the supermarket bagger is maybe wearing a button which says "ASK ME ABOUT SACRIFICING INFANTS TO SATAN" or something.
If a statistically significant number of people are receiving the wrong message, then the message sender needs to look at that -- even if the great majority of people are receiving the intended message.
Re: One of the Party Hosts
That, of course, doesn't mean that they aren't aware of that sort of mind-set, nor that they are -- I mean, we live in the same culture, so I assume we have some sort of cultural commonality, but, as I have never met them, I don't know that.
As far as sent messages: I also assume that other people were SENT other messages. They had different people working the door at different times; different people have different communication styles. Every communication event happens in a context, between people. I, personally, received a message. A few other people ALSO received the same message, which suggests that the ENTIRE burden of miscommunication is not on me.
In cases where only a single person receives a message, you can assume that the entire fault belongs to that person: "I asked him if he wanted paper or plastic; he assumed that I said to worship our Lord Satan and kill babies. I guess I could have been clearer. . . "
In a case like that, you wouldn't assume that the SENDER of the message had been at fault. But if MULTIPLE people assume that that supermarket bagger is suggesting infant sacrifice, you might want to check to see if the supermarket bagger is maybe wearing a button which says "ASK ME ABOUT SACRIFICING INFANTS TO SATAN" or something.
If a statistically significant number of people are receiving the wrong message, then the message sender needs to look at that -- even if the great majority of people are receiving the intended message.