In defense of the shul: a lot of communities rent out their synagogues for the extra income, and as long as the basic rules are complied with (e.g. using caterers from the shul's approved list), they don't usually try to exercise much control before the fact. This has actually been a huge problem for Beth Bingo over the years, as the religious committee has tried to steer away from renting out the building on Shabbat for simchas they fear will be, at best, in poor taste. The shul board, OTOH, has the books in front of them, and knows they need the income to keep the lights on and the secretary from quitting, so they feel like they have no choice. And if a family wants to show that they completely lack derekh eretz, well, that's their business (in the eyes of the board).

It's not a great situation, but it's one in which a lot of shuls with aging/shrinking populations find themselves.