One of the main ways my depression shows up is an inability to Do Stuff. I find myself doing some sort of repetitive, pointless time-waster just to be doing SOMETHING, but if I don't have something like that to do, I'll just sit in the corner doing nothing.
Me too. Lots. It's like my brain gets stuck and is too scared to do anything, so I just don't do anything that actually matters.
I've discovered that crocheting can be a bit helpful because it is repetitive and simple and at the end of it I have a scarf or a sock or something. It doesn't always work, though.
Music is another thing that sometimes helps. Bach 'cello suites in particular seem to make me want to get up and do something. I don't know why; perhaps it occupies the bit of my brain that would normally be trying to do something repetitive and pattern-like.
I generally try not to show when I'm depressed, because it would upset people.
Similarity again there. I will say that reading this post of yours has been helpful for me, though. Sometimes letting people know you are depressed will help them to feel less alone and more connected to the universe. For me, this was what I needed today, and came as a relief (I can elaborate on why if you like). On the other hand, your funny cat story the other day was also excellent.
People who care about you do not want to see you in pain. If you tell them you are depressed they may sometimes be able to help before it gets too bad. As you learn which things help you this will increase. It is a lot easier to ask for help, of course, if you actually know what will help.
So I think of emotional states to be just things that happen, like the weather. One can't really DO anything about them -- they just show up. and also There are times that I get unhappy because bad stuff happens, or happy because good things happen.
The difficulty is that when you're depressed it can be very difficult to see cause and effect in any sort of subjective manner. I found out by keeping a food-mood diary that my mood really is affected more drastically than I had thought by what I eat... and also by basic self-care things like adequate sleep and rest and exercise and prayer and alone time and time with people. I have a tendency to overestimate my abilities and try to do too much, then crash.
I think that when you learn to keep an eye on stress levels in your life then you may find it easier to tell when you are vulnerable to a bout of depression, and eventually to compensate for this in order to avoid becoming severely depressed.
Another thing that is very relevant for me is negative vs. positive thought patterns. I can get stuck thinking negative things for ages and it does me no good. Getting stuck thinking positive things, being unrealistically optimistic, doesn't help either - it just makes me ignore what actually needs to be done. I am finding that learning to be absolutely objective in the way I speak, write and think is a useful tool, but that the trick really is gaining awareness of when I am not doing so, so that I can try to get the unhelpful habits before they cause either a downward spiral or a crash.
I also find reaching out to other people helps more often than I think it will. People are amazingly willing to come round for a cup of tea to keep me company, or go for a walk with me, or even just give me a hug if I ask, but I have to do the asking or they don't know. Usually I ask thinking it will be a miserable time and then end up enjoying it a bit, or even a lot, and I guess other people must enjoy it as well or they wouldn't keep on turning up. You don't even have to tell people you are unhappy for this to work; just ring someone and ask if they fancy a walk sometime in the next few days. You mention being busy and 'dealing with' people... what about just spending time with them?
I'm not saying any of these things are solutions for you, just letting you know that some of your experience is similar to my own.I'm also letting you know some of what has worked for me, because perhaps in future it will be useful.
"a state of feeling like there is a yawning empty void inside the middle of your soul."
no subject
Me too. Lots. It's like my brain gets stuck and is too scared to do anything, so I just don't do anything that actually matters.
I've discovered that crocheting can be a bit helpful because it is repetitive and simple and at the end of it I have a scarf or a sock or something. It doesn't always work, though.
Music is another thing that sometimes helps. Bach 'cello suites in particular seem to make me want to get up and do something. I don't know why; perhaps it occupies the bit of my brain that would normally be trying to do something repetitive and pattern-like.
I generally try not to show when I'm depressed, because it would upset people.
Similarity again there. I will say that reading this post of yours has been helpful for me, though. Sometimes letting people know you are depressed will help them to feel less alone and more connected to the universe. For me, this was what I needed today, and came as a relief (I can elaborate on why if you like). On the other hand, your funny cat story the other day was also excellent.
People who care about you do not want to see you in pain. If you tell them you are depressed they may sometimes be able to help before it gets too bad. As you learn which things help you this will increase. It is a lot easier to ask for help, of course, if you actually know what will help.
So I think of emotional states to be just things that happen, like the weather. One can't really DO anything about them -- they just show up. and also There are times that I get unhappy because bad stuff happens, or happy because good things happen.
The difficulty is that when you're depressed it can be very difficult to see cause and effect in any sort of subjective manner. I found out by keeping a food-mood diary that my mood really is affected more drastically than I had thought by what I eat... and also by basic self-care things like adequate sleep and rest and exercise and prayer and alone time and time with people. I have a tendency to overestimate my abilities and try to do too much, then crash.
I think that when you learn to keep an eye on stress levels in your life then you may find it easier to tell when you are vulnerable to a bout of depression, and eventually to compensate for this in order to avoid becoming severely depressed.
Another thing that is very relevant for me is negative vs. positive thought patterns. I can get stuck thinking negative things for ages and it does me no good. Getting stuck thinking positive things, being unrealistically optimistic, doesn't help either - it just makes me ignore what actually needs to be done. I am finding that learning to be absolutely objective in the way I speak, write and think is a useful tool, but that the trick really is gaining awareness of when I am not doing so, so that I can try to get the unhelpful habits before they cause either a downward spiral or a crash.
I also find reaching out to other people helps more often than I think it will. People are amazingly willing to come round for a cup of tea to keep me company, or go for a walk with me, or even just give me a hug if I ask, but I have to do the asking or they don't know. Usually I ask thinking it will be a miserable time and then end up enjoying it a bit, or even a lot, and I guess other people must enjoy it as well or they wouldn't keep on turning up. You don't even have to tell people you are unhappy for this to work; just ring someone and ask if they fancy a walk sometime in the next few days. You mention being busy and 'dealing with' people... what about just spending time with them?
I'm not saying any of these things are solutions for you, just letting you know that some of your experience is similar to my own.I'm also letting you know some of what has worked for me, because perhaps in future it will be useful.
"a state of feeling like there is a yawning empty void inside the middle of your soul."
Me too. Hang in there. It will pass.