Something I have found helps with my depressive friends is to ask them to do something for me. It has to be something real, something I really need done, not imaginary make-work. But quite often they'll do it, and having done it will have achieved something and occasionally notice that they have.

I discovered this by accident, when I saved someone's life because I needed a babysitter, but have since done it on purpose.

And Ian? Equality does not mean precise equivalents. I can't carry boxes, you can. (And thank you again!) Your shared unhappiness likewise isn't going to make me unhappy, because my happiness isn't that fragile. I mean I am *sorry* you're not happy, I empathise, but it doesn't shake my equilibrium.